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Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

I've never felt so personally affected by the death of an artist, a poet, a fellow compatriot and a giver of gifts than I am of Francis Magalona, my love. His were the songs that begun to challenge the addiction in my life as well as initiated the question in me, perhaps unconsciously, of who I am as a Filipino patriot and a citizen of this inhabited earth.

Of course, I could name other great Filipino poets and artists, compatriots and givers of gifts that, in retrospect of the great impact of their life and art in me, bear great influence in my life but we are talking here, my love, in solemn spirit of the life and dreams, love and song of a particular one, our Kiko or Francis M.

I have never felt my Country grieve though I know that she had wept before. For I was asleep: My beloved Philippines never had revealed to me the depth of our sorrow than when this one native son of hers, a brother to me, flew from her bosom, toward God, to await with countless other heroes, the awakening of our dreams together, reborn and ascended forever as our one and only Eternal Philippines.

So go with God, Kiko. I actually texted that to 143, you know, my love. Please take care of our mutual friend, ok, my Miyang.

My recent incident with drug abuse has caused me to falter from the vision we were pursuing, my love, the clarity of things seem dulled and it shall take more repentance and prayer to gain them all back. But like I said before, I am never more confident than I am now that this sin, too, shall have its own day of Justice in my life. For I have felt a great coming together inside of me, like a falling into place, I can now recall at will, the ferocity and awareness that I require for the defense of my will to hold against this curse of drug addiction. By grace of God, through much prayer and a greater intensity of Sacramental communion, I know that this very significant sin in my life shall also be overcome with patience and time and in God's own time.

I have dreamt of Sunbeams, too, my love - just last night. I've felt the quality and purity of her friendship offered to all the children of God in the Name of Jesus Christ and though I know she doesn't really know me, my love, I care about that girl - a whole lot. And so, my darlingest, we shall give to her what is the best available good that is ours to give in God and holy friendship and that is our thoughts and prayers together for her own nation of Ireland.

You know, my love, it would be well suited for our world at this present time to recognize the distinct difference between a nation and a Country. Now, some would say that it may all just be a play on words, that a nation and a Country is one and the same thing. But we are not interested in words more than the substance that they convey which fills the truth that make real to our reality the things of our everyday human experience.

A nation is a noun; Country is a verb. A nation is always composed of human beings bearing and freely expressing the same belongings with each other - IN THE GREATER CONTEXT - of the one family of the nations of Mankind. A Country is a labor in exile time to perfect the synthesis of nation and state. It is the building up of the inhabited earth from the dusts of the unknown earth in exile time, salvation history running the course of all human hope. Another component of Country is the common market which also needs to be more clearly defined.

For a nation to be true to its founding, it only has to recognize its own distinct place within the greater scale of the wholes that represent the abiding governance of Divine Providence in all worlds, seen and unseen, but a Country that is true must exactly align, in the course of its hope, with that scale of wholes towards the one highest of Wholes, the encompassing and infinite immensity of our transcendent God Himself.

Many nations may take part in one endeavor of Country but all endeavors of Country that is genuine must seek to serve ALL nations. Our Sunbeams is All-American by call of Country but her roots shall always remain with her Irish people. This is an understanding that may only exist in a place where peace is paradigm because war as a whole seeks to enforce a worldview that is as static and impotent as those lines that are drawn upon the dust of the earth to divide our needful humanity rather than to share our common human responsibility in this world.

I do admit, there must be a lot more thinking and praying that needs to be done here, in this regard for I know that more things must come to light before this understanding can be said to be complete and we will do this, us and all others who are called like us.

Peace among Christians, my love, is the necessary balm that shall lead to the eventual healing of the wounds of the Irish nation. The reason I have dreamt of our Sunbeams, I understand, is so that I may be reminded of the awesome beauty of just one life, and of how infinitely worthwhile it is to help ensure that all nations retain their founding hopes TOGETHER as a family and that all true endeavors of Country neither fail with the faltering nor fall with the eventual fettering of the beast of war.

Saint Patrick's day is coming up this March 23; that's in ten days, my love. Something stirs in golden, emerald Ireland - and this something is the kind of malice that will do everything in its power to challenge and prevent what peace must become through us in this present time for the sake of the one family of the nations of Mankind and of all the generations of life. 

There is an inhuman will of an unseen intelligence that is at work in this world that knows to seek our vulnerability as nations - therefore, to prayer and to holy friendships, all Christians - most especially this season of Lent - and all persons of good will, seen and unseen. If we shall bear with each other, the peace of Christ which is our hope in God and Country, we shall soon learn in our common humanity, one with another, that we are always, always stronger than what seeks to divide us, as a Church and as nations manifest in her changeless image - for the good of all people of good will. Lest we forget. Lest we forget.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing