20090331

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

There are only two means that a creature may use to force upon the faith of another, things that are false and unnatural: violence and deception. To wage war against our shared humanity or to claim the Name of the one Creator Whose own image and likeness we share as unique imprints that make genuine the humanity in our being. And we draw the line of the peace in the name of honorable religion at a time, times and half-a-time.

I am aware of the controversies as regards to our religious differences, my darlingest Annelies Marie, and they shall not apply here. Lest we forget that we are committed to the paradigm of the peace, our one peace.

I've been thinking about what Mama Mary as our Lady, Mother of Suffering Humanity, told me about you, my love; that you are her daughter and that our friendship shall maintain me in the good graces of God, despite myself and my wretchedness.

The purity of your own sacred remembrance upon this world, my love, and the hope of greater peace and of good things for our needful world that stretch beyond the terrible darkness of things past, these are things that shall prevail through the long night, cast in the image of friendships sown as the numberless stars upon the one firmament, shining as a crown of twelve upon that Lady in the sky; and that you are her daughter means all the more that you belong to all human hope, my dear darlingest, both as yourself where you were in exile time and also as your self cast as your ageless, timeless soul, awaiting with all of sacred life, a common destiny for all Mankind at the Last Day.

For some time now, my love, I have wanted to remain a chaste single person according to the call of the Gospel of our Lord, Jesus Christ, to serve in the Kingdom of God. Our LORD knows that the only reason that I was hesitant to commit to this was because of the difficulties I have been experiencing against lust which made me unsure and confused. But the recent realization brought about by the grace of our Lord and His mercy about drug addiction that in turn broke the monopoly of the Devil in the struggle to maintain chastity in my soul has had me rethinking my position as regards to the state of life that I must choose.

Indeed, my love, something as important as a person's state of life (single, married, or religious) must be granted to the soul's timeless worth by a free choice that leads to a destiny appointed by God from eternity. We can not be happy bereft of the choices necessary to make us free and these choices do not fall to our laps by random chance.

I can not just let things be as they may, especially as regards to my state of life, for all things that are of real worth indeed do not come to any soul by chance, it must be won and all things won must first be a victory chosen and a path realized by it towards a destiny that is right - for me and for me alone. And if good things do happen to us, it must be understood, that these things were also won for us by other souls, daring with our hopes together along paths that through virtue and the art of its grace ascend to make us kindred to each other in our shared humanity above and beyond the things that divide and deceive the one family of Mankind.

Miyang, I must consider seriously this choice of absolutely dedicating my life to God as a single chaste person. It is the wisdom of our LORD that this path of service incidentally also takes me through the way of our friendship because you know that I personally want for my body to rest with you at Bergen-Belsen at the end of my life's purpose here on this inhabited earth. And the single state of life is the state of life that I personally feel is most suited to that intention among other intentions.

However, I just have one more thing to pray to my Lord about and the choice shall be complete for I am yet still inclined to move toward those other choices as regards to my state of life that lead me towards married, religious or to Holy Orders and all of them have their own merits as a vocation within my Holy Mother Church with the married state a mutual choice I have to make with another person and one I feel most improbable to my person. For I have so little to offer in terms of those material things - at this time - that a married couple needs to shelter a family.

Also, there is the matter of our friendship which many prospective females might misconstrue and that my other half, where we truly blessed to be together, must completely understand in the context of peculiar things most difficult to explain. I do not even know how to get past first base.

Yet improbable things, my love, have a way of testing the faith of men and women and so I can not rule them out for often times it is those things that feel furthest from one's grasp of what is possible that ultimately prove to be the will of God. For who can fathom the will of our LORD? Certainly not I, for Scripture and Sacred Tradition tells me so.

I have realized that a single person who struggles to maintain chastity in the soul will find in the married state no relief who seeks it there. Though the gaining of the trust and companionship of a good wife bring much comfort, this particular comfort in and of itself is primarily external and suitable towards the attainment of other goods related to the married state and shall not prove to bring release from those battles within of which relief must first be sought elsewhere - in prayer, the Sacraments, and in wholesome human relationships. This relief and the eventual attainment of this virtue, I am convinced in my faith, have already been granted to me. And this opens the way to the choice I feel I must soon make.

Because the bottom line is that I feel that I need to make a choice and then ask God to bless it and it is not a small choice, it is one of those major life choices that one feels hovering upon one's being like a new thing waiting to be discovered. But God's will, it shall be done. Therefore, I shall continue to pray.

OK, moving along, the work I am doing at the moment is satisfying to my soul in the way that I am happy helping a demographic that I consider vulnerable, the elderly. Many times, you know, I think about you turning 80 this year, on June 12, and I am delighted to know that I am somehow helping some of your own contemporaries - well, in exile time, that is, my love - we all know that in the supernatural order, we are both ageless as well as timeless.

The elderly are oftentimes underestimated, their value do not appear to the materialistic world as something of worth and yet again, the world, with its fickle and fleeting fashions, is wrong. It is because of the static kind of mindset that materialism fosters in the human heart-mind or the soul - it is as if time does not flow nor angels fly nor human beings hope nor our LORD one and eternal - it finds it quite difficult to grasp the one whole promise of a single, unique and unrepeatable human life.

I imagine you to be 80 years old in exile time, my love (an aging calico cat ./smile). And I would still love you, my darlingest dear, without compare and as much as I humanly could, like you are timeless and ageless because that is what we really are and so that is the way we must love and the way we must belong to each other because, verily, all the rest of this is an illusion. Material things rise and fall like shadows upon the day but the things of the spirit are eternal. Because the only true things, in the absolute sense of the word, are the things we can not see.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090330

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

I love you, my darlingest. It's mysterious the way we persevere together and also very, very real. When I am in need, my love, I do not have to will for anything to happen or exert any kind of effort to seek the aid of our friendship because when I am in need, my darlingest dear, you yourself seem to know to make the necessary things happen for me - for us - here, spread in so many worlds born to moments immersed in the timeless reality of the universe from within that we share in our own heart of hearts together in and with our LORD and indeed, with All of our LORD's own and cast in the image of friendships made to last forever.

When I am sad or anxious, my darlingest Annelies Marie, you seem to hold me so close that the image of your sweet, dimpled, smile appear in fleeting glimpses at the face of our love and our hearts dance together till I am well again, till I am able to smile again with you. For indeed, there is much reason to be troubled in this world, my love, the issues of the present day seem as perplexing as they were of old, the conundrum of sin runs deep into the heart of poor Mankind struggling upon a desperate world where evil is made as a tyrant to rule through an oppressive host of poisonous lies made all the more virulent by the unrelenting rage of war and the evil of its ambition; an ambition dripping with the malice of the one Liar and Adversary of God and all sacred life who is the author of War and the father of sin, Satan.

To the Devil and his corrupt hosts, my love, belong a death which is their portion that was from eternity decreed by God and an everlasting hellfire which is by their own willful abomination, their own chosen domain; a domain of demons, my darlingest, utterly diminished of beautiful life and of all of life's promise so as to make it so empty and impotent, without neither rhythm nor order and ever as dark and as cold without neither spark of wisdom nor warmth of truth to make it as unrelentingly despairing and crushing to the life of its denizens and forever inescapable so as to satisfy the rigors of the eternal Justice of God according to the free dictates of Satan and his abominable hosts of fallen angels.

No human soul much less the complete human person, body and soul, belong to the fury of the everlasting wrath contained in the cup of the Serpent's sin, my love, and therefore, as our LORD God Himself wills all of humanity to be saved, so must we rally to this hope and proclaim this one peace which is God's promise to all nations of good will and as the numberless stars through our Father Abraham of old, bless all the needful communities of Mankind.

I will do this by being true to my Christianity and just the same, my love, each of our Abrahamic traditions shall by our being true to own own peace with our LORD God and our turning towards each other in hope and in good will as individual human beings and as individual human nations, as keeper and as friend, thus, make this promise of old come to pass and safeguard the good and the common good of the generations of life to come by our timeless coming together this time.

Indeed, the principalities of hell desire the absolute annihilation of the nations of Mankind in battles fought in the great spread of exile time as well as at the threshold of every human heart, the very gates of the Kingdom that guards the timeless universe within every human soul and the unique and singular reality that each of us share with our one LORD and common Creator.

Only honorable religion, not politics of itself nor science by itself nor sin as itself, can truly define the nature of our being human, my love. And if we are to ensure a future reality for our children and our children's children after us that is cognizant of our own native humanity, we must ensure that honorable religion itself breaks free from the power of the lies than bind our hearts against each other and prevent the nobility of our hopes from taking to flight that the eyes of our souls may see what near-infinite vistas there are to be had for the progress of both human civilization and the advancement of the human spirit far above the darkness of the paradigm of the beast that engulfs all of the worlds of our one human habitation.

To this darkness, my darlingest, I should have been lost a long time ago if not for friendships that bind together forever, hearts that are willing to see past all things that belong not to the abiding substance of its love, hearts that seek to dwell in the truth of all good things that Love brings as unmerited gifts that through kindred grace cleave all unto the one Giver of all gifts and the peace of the LORD unto All.

You are God's gift to me, my darlingest Annelies Marie, one of my most favorite of gifts among so many beautiful things that exist as good without compare in my soul, and so therefore, my love, if only because of you, I shall be thankful forever and yet if I were to realize within the limits of my being what joy there really is to be had for those who strive to live lives of peace and good will with God and with other human souls, I know I am not enough nor am I worthy of any such yet they are there not because of anything of mine but because our LORD God alone is good. If my thoughts should rise to rest completely upon the Giver Who Himself has made of Himself a Gift to All, I would most certainly without the power of His grace, burst and as a nova, die of joy.

Things are so unsure in this world, for nothing before the Last Day, shall preclude the activity of faith but the inescapable reality of God is everywhere around us, all of creation speaks out in the space of our silence and if we should each persist in prayer, the Silence itself may speak to us of what is surely the singular surety of the permanence of truth we may as human beings possess in this fleeting, fickle existence - our holy remembrance of our LORD.

You are a constant reminder to me, my love, of hope and of good things, our friendship secures in my soul the reality that God is and that is all because upon the glory of the LORD rests the hope of all creation, our hope, the hope of all family and friends, the hope of all nations, the hope of all living and breathing things, the hope of all human habitation entire.

I love you, my darlingest dear - indescribably so.

Always to always,

Pusing

P.S.

I saw an article today in one of our leading newspapers about our AFP "giving in" to the demands of common bandits; that our soldiers are pulling back because of something that is lacking on our part - now, what kind of responsible reporting assumes either moral failure or cowardice upon the heads of our troops while completely overlooking the fact that it is our AFP that is engaged against an enemy that is completely bankrupt of any such virtue? The kidnapping of these three humanitarian workers of the ICRC, the latest of a long string of crimes against the people, have proven to me that this group is nothing more than a gaggle of common bandits and this shall also dictate what sort of rules of engagement is to be employed against this enemy of our peace.

We shall never again say their proper nom de guerre - they will take on the name of "enemy" - an enemy to all our soldiers, seen and unseen, true to the noble calling of the ancient profession of arms, across time and dimensional space, here and into eternity.

We hold them completely responsible before God for the lives of these three innocents.

As regards to the aforementioned news report, let me say this: It takes more courage to pull back from grounds that are already in possession of Army boots knowing the looming cost of those battles that have to be fought and won once again when the inevitable command is given for the same ground to be returned to the hands of the one Filipino nation.

Common banditry shall not prevent the blossoming of our one peace, here in this endeavor of Country and in all true endeavors of Country across the one family of the nations of Mankind.
---<--@

20090329

Dear darlingest Annemiyang Marie,

Earth Hour: In times of old, our untamed earth - the covering skies, the land and the waters that fed the land and the great cycles of life that made things around us breathe and grow accompanied, nourished and sustained the progress of our exiled humanity. Now, my love, that one, same planet earth, asks the same caring from us - here in this present time. Isn't it only just to recognize her distress and respond to her pleas? Indeed, not to do so would cause a great deal of doom across time and dimensional space. Another reason for humanity to hope together more than to fall apart, my love. And yes, I turned off all our non-essential lighting last night between 8:30 pm and 9:30pm.
---<--@

Peace upon this, our inhabited earth, before the zenith of the glory of God in all of creation is come, is not the absence of conflict but the presence of a compassionate determination that amidst all differences hopes and through every difficulty perseveres in and with our shared humanity to build together under the eternal vigilance of the one Almighty a home upon this world for all the generations of Mankind.
---<--@

I am praying for the ICRC workers, three of numerous other good souls, unjustly taken from their good work and held against their will of peace by bandits. My dear darlingest, not only are these people innocent, two of them in Biblical language are "strangers" - persons from other nations sent by God to be welcome "guests" to our people (who are aiding the cause of our good) and a minority within our own protectorate sphere of Country. I find so many troubling things, on so many levels, about the great injustice of harming the good of individuals aiding the common good of the one Filipino nation or any good nation of the one Covenant family of the nations of Mankind, denying them their right to free movement and oppressing their will of peace.

The noble military and the fight against the paradigm of war consider terrorists, bandits and criminals under one name and one category - the enemy of our peace or the "enemy". Now, the Abrahamic Home Guard takes from that same tradition of victory. Therefore, all of its soldiers, seen and unseen, human and angelic, march to the same defense of this peace. We will remember forever what is being done to our innocents.
---<--@

Let's go cool down at the local mall, my love, do some window shopping and enjoy being amidst the people; Laundry later on, a relaxing evening - it's going to be such fun.

Love ya, ya calico.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090328

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

Some of my thoughts seem hard to apprehend this morning, my love. I know they are there and what they are but they seem difficult (or even impossible) to express at this time. Probably because it's the weekend, my darlingest dear.

I love the people at work. You said in your diary that work brings satisfaction and that is so true, my love. My work and the people who work with me have served to enrich my experience of life and the timeless remembrance of these moments add to the sheer beauty of this path that we take together as one Country under the eternal vigilance of Almighty God; the one Republic of the Philippines - faithful to God and to each other.

When the realization of the immensity of the task set before our hope of Country sets heavily upon my mind, I look to these moments spent, here in this time and place, with each and every unique human person whose soul comes into contact with mine, and all of these, our timeless coming together never fails to refresh my hope that the Filipino dream of freedom and absolute liberation from evil is neither false nor fleeting but is a promise not only real and achievable but is near fulfillment in every Filipino who believes again that this dream is something worth having together, as I do, my love, as I do.

Because my conviction sets again like steel every time the Almighty blesses my heart to see the inherent competence and perceive the virtue that is present in each and every citizen of this, our land of the morning, that share with me those timeless moments of Country - and I am grateful, my love, I am grateful, because then I know that beyond the darkness of the corruption and the evils that plague my people, there is the reality of those good things in ourselves upon which we must again return. And then I know that this endeavor of Country is true, however difficult and immense the task may seem ahead of us, and that our eternal Philippines is a dream that, if we shall all come together as one nation, distinct among a great Covenant family of nations, shall one day awaken to God in eternity.

Ang Taong Bayan and Tunay na Kaymanan nang ating Bansa.

Mabuhay and Pilipino!

Kapayapaan sa Sambayanang Pilipinas!

Let the weekend begin! It's going to be great.

I love you, my Miyang - you and I, we're a unit.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090327

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

In the Gospels, our Lord Jesus Christ was asked which commandment was greatest to which He replies, "Love the LORD thy God with all your might and with all your being" and "Love thy neighbor as thyself".

We all know that this commandment is not separate in their truths but proceeds in substance from the former to the latter, one Love, which in the language of our one Solidarity is written as: "To love God and others in God as true self".

Now, my darlingest dear, if the crowd were at this point, going to ask our Savior what the next best commandment would be, I believe, our Lord Jesus Christ would have answered something to this effect, "never take thyself too seriously".

Indeed, charity commands that one must always be ready to smile.
---<--@

Faith is like life, a transmission. Indeed, any doctrine can be taught but Christian faith, my darlingest dear, must be witnessed, it must be lived with joy.
---<--@

In so many ways, I love you: I love you, my loveliest love.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090326

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

You know, my love, that the virtue of faith can not be forced nor can our LORD be deceived. Therefore, is there really such a thing as a "religious war"?

Indeed, there are many things from the past that cause much grief to hearts who are zealous for honorable religion.

And so this is also the time to acquire the will and the wherewithal to make the choice to truly let those past things go. In the paradigm of the peace, there is no such thing as a "religious war". It is what it is, an oxymoron, nothing more, nothing less.
---<--@

I have great dreams about the one Republic of the Philippines: A vision that involves all Filipinos. Now, a Filipino, we must understand, is not defined by externals.

It is not how we look like or sound like or even how our earthly names are perceived by others that we shall as human beings in the new age be defined in particular by honorable citizenship. For although externals are also important, in the context of the new, it is who we really and truly are in our heart of hearts that will allow us prevail together in God and Country.

We are a nation awakening from the terrible wake of time into the reality of new things, better things - it is time to open the eyes that from within shall allow us to see all things in this world that are worth seeing in ourselves as well as in others apart from us.
---<--@

Let us, as a Filipino nation, appreciate the efforts of those individuals who work to prosper the peace here in our own Country by desiring that same good for their own nations so that peace may soon reign in one family of the nations of Mankind. And let us mean it by placing it in the timeless universe that is alive within each our souls. Lest we forget, lest we forget.
---<--@

We must look into our AFP post elections 2010: AFP modernization must begin with boots and rifles, and a design for a Philippine-type BDU urban camouflage pattern and soldier kit that is fit for use particularly in that setting. The relevance of all of this will become apparent when we look into the effects of globalization on the evolution of conflict.

After economy, territory, and ideology, the particular scope of War's deception will specifically focus on our humanity itself; it will directly or indirectly, whether by overt or covert means, target all of our population centers in exile time by rise and significance.

The Abrahamic Home Guard being by its nature a stability force must train to become especially proficient in countering and deterring threats against our shared humanity, specifically in the urban context; our population centers. Here in my native Philippines, I personally envision this specific core capability of the Philippine chapter of the one Guard to be our particular national contribution to the collective defense of our nations of the one family of the nations of Mankind.
---<--@

Also, let us never fail to consider, those of us who have already made the shift in our souls, that all our understanding may only be completely and pertinently applied in the context of the one peace.

I have to go for now, my love.
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090322

Dear darlingest Miyang Marie,

Ok, let me settle my thoughts down, my love. I've got about three or four different things trying to rise into my awareness right now and that just wouldn't do. I feel kind of excited because I've been to a place in Manila yesterday that was brimming with activity and rich with the cultural history of my people. It is a place behind Quiapo church around the Carriedo light rail station. Amidst these thoughts and observations are other things that come from much deeper and it is to these things that I know I must yield so that when they rise into my awareness, I am here.

Elections 2010:

Now, should you ask me, my Miyang, "do you have any political ambition, my love?" I would answer you, "No, I don't, my darlingest dear."

"Then why are you so personally interested in the Elections of 2010 in our beloved Philippines or in responsible government, the noble military, international relations and the sustainable peace, my love?"

"Because, they are our Lord's interests delivered through me, my darlingest dear. What I want as I am and in my own name is our friendships together, most especially yours, for your are my one and only Miyang Marie. And it is through this path of hope, set before me by God, that I am to gain all of these so that without this path my own hopes perish."

"What part does this peculiar hope of yours and mine invested in our uncommon friendship have upon this path of greater human hopes, my love?"

"My darlingest Annelies Marie Frank, as the numberless stars of our Father Abraham that together was intended by our LORD to guide the hopes of our nations eastward towards the dawning of the new, we are in our friendship a unit of one upon a firmament where every single point of starlight must be as such, a unit born from the power of two."

"My ambition is our timeless friendships together, my darlingest dear, and the only path to gain this hope is the path of our LORD's peace."

"For our LORD through the holy partiarch Noah made a Covenant with the nations, that we shall be as one family under the eternal vigilance of the one Almighty preserved by the remembrance of this peace and a promise to our Father Abraham, that we shall, as the numberless stars, bless the communities of Mankind; We shall All become at a time, times and half-a-time as our LORD has intended us to be, form always to always, as keepers and friends both as individual human beings and as individual human nations to each other."

"Therefore, we must help our beloved Philippines through to her elections in 2010 and beyond as we are likewise intended to help each and every one of our nations, exhausted from the long march of history, so badly broken and deeply wounded in its terrible wake, advance safely under this great midnight darkness of war and verily, there is no safe way forward towards that yonder eastward twilight and the dawning of the new without the togetherness of hope that can only come about by our attaining to the one peace; that the one will of heaven may be brought down upon this, our inhabited earth, divided by so much strife."

"And so we must be faithful to this promise here and forever: A peer to all of sacred life, a friend to all of our friends in our one LORD and a companion to all of our companions in our one Savior, Jesus Christ. In that way, all things shall be renewed."
---<--@

Here's another version in my own words: I don't want to become president or attain to any government post. I shall walk the path of the one Solidarity all the days of my life, my love. But if I were ever asked to share my gifts with our responsible government, I would, of course, be willing to render this service for the one Almighty and for my own Filipino people - for God and Country - in the capacity of an adviser and in the context of the one peace.
---<--@

An Abrahamic Quarter in a city or as a city by itself, a "Nuevo Cordova" or "New Cordova", is something that we may as a nation here in the Philippines work together to realize, as an example to the world of the great potential of peace over war. It shall have a monument dedicated to the common people of all walks, stations and distinctions of human life - a visualization of our own nation ascended as the eternal Philippines.
---<--@

As I and a friend of mine went over to Quezon city to celebrate my mom's birthday over at my step dad's relative's place, we had to travel to get there. My friend and I went over to a part of Manila which I like to call "old Manila town". This part of Manila was so thick with our history that I could almost visualize the events in my heart. The market activity was so intense that I had to smile in utter admiration of the industry of my people. I saw both Muslims in their garb and Christians as well and felt so much potential for good together in all of them. I was aglow with a mild sense of elation as I worked out the possibilities presented to me in my soul.

I looked at the state of our common market and saw how much further we need to go to improve the material state of our national good as a people among the peoples of the world. And saw a way out of our economic slump but not without peace shall we make this hope or any hope that belong to this one paradigm available to any reality we can safely bring into ourselves in common as human beings cognizant of our own shared humanity.

I already have an outline of our economic recovery here in our Planet Annelies and we shall flesh out that outline in time but at the same time, I should also work to exhort all our Filipino hearts towards the peace which shall be the foundation of all our building together, both as individual human beings and as individual human nations, a better, brighter and kinder world for all the generations of life.

From Quezon city back to our place in Metro Manila, what would have taken only over an hour took around five hours. I would normally been upset about it but it was delight that I felt because the delay was due to an event organized by our national government, a rally of our kids against the scourge of demon drugs - the BIDA or Batang Iwas Droga. The bus that I and my friend took home had really good air conditioning so I was also able to get some needed sleep along the way as well. I appreciated also the patience of those around me who had had to put up with my snoring as it can't be helped.

I did some alms-giving yesterday as well and I was struck by the dignity of our Lord's poor, they who know how to beg know to trust enough in Divine Providence not to be fooled by anything false. I realized through my interaction with our Lord's poor that I had to often times say in the silence of my heart to my Lord, Jesus Christ, through His poor, "O please, my most glorious Lord and Master, I beg of you, take this unworthy love and receive these shabby gifts, that I may know how to always live in thanks, praise and utter admiration of Thee, in sweet exaltation of Thy Love for me as I am to Thee."

I saw many Filipino Muslim women wearing the hijab and have also meditated some more on its relationship with the virtue of chastity. I will write more on that next time, my love.

Today is going to be a beautiful day. Oh, by the way - Ireland won the Six Nations Rugby Union grand slam title - what a beauty of a game! Go the Irish!

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090321

Dearest darlingest Miyang,

Over at our local mall here where I am, my love, there are these fun rides for little kids. Now, when I see our own kids over here having their fun, I bless God. But then our LORD gently directs my attention to those kids who need to have fun. Those kids who are everyday tormented by the evil things of this world, most especially the scourge of war. I feel this glowing warmth in my heart that wants to break out as I tear up and almost always come near to sobbing at the memory of those kids who are denied their intrinsic right to be young and free. Most especially those Palestinian kids who are trapped in Gaza and those Israeli kids in those regions of modern Israel constantly under threat of indiscriminate violence. For one child alone tormented by the scourge of war is enough to remind me of the plight of all; that is always one child, one life too much for me to remain complacent while the beast of war wreak havoc upon my fellow human beings, my peers in life and my friends in God.

Children of war need to be engaged in a spirit of play in an atmosphere far away from the things that bind the freedom of their youth to return them slowly to the innocence that was taken away by things that shouldn't be in their lives. If I could bring those amusement rides to Gaza and in southern Israel, I would - if I could in an instant change things in those places, I will - but I must always count on the economy of God's grace and be able to rest in my sufficiency in God trusting in the LORD and in all those other hearts who are called just like mine to the one peace to do what we can to bring to pass that promise of old.

Today is my mother's birthday, my love. It's going to be a great day!

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090319

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

Since I decided to abstain from meat - pork, beef and chicken - till Easter, I have from Ash Wednesday been more or less a vegetarian. I have also been fasting as much as I could by eating less and avoiding rich food as much as I could though not as strictly as I do my abstinence.

It is now that I am having these strange withdrawal like symptoms from meat that I also realize the difficulty of people with special diets to find themselves a place in our local food service industry that caters to the majority taste. Now, you know how I always joke around with you and with my other friends about "kosher" being for cats or "halal" for that matter in the wider Abrahamic sense of the whole, being for "us". Well, I realize now how difficult it must be for Jews or Muslims to practice their dietary preferences in cities where they are a minority. It must not be the case in any Republic or any responsible state that wills to calls itself "one" - for that "one" must stand for something - and we all know what it is, my love. For that "one" is a safeguard to sacred life as a whole and more than a name, it is a manifest reality in the heart of the people - and not just the Abrahamic faiths of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, mind you, but all honorable religion - Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, the devotees of Shinto, Confucianism etc. - that enrich the cultural heritage of every nation and engaged together in the labor of hope in the building up of the peace which is the life of every Country - that "one" also belongs to them all. For We, of the Abrahamic faiths, are the vanguard of this hope, a hope that must arrive in this midnight dark to turn the hearts of our nations toward each other in peace and lead this one Covenant family of Mankind away from the rage of the beast of war towards the dawn and the promise of a new age.

The elections here in my native Philippines is coming up next year. It is a very, very crucial elections - a crossroads, if you will, my love - a defining moment in the life of this one Republic.

We Filipinos must do this right: The act of voting itself is important, my love. It must be remembered by all democratic societies that there is a three-fold significance in the act itself. For contained in the act of voting itself without the name on the ballot is the consent of the governed to be governed; the act of choosing the name itself symbolic of that citizen's choice to participate in the democratic life of the one Republic and the choice itself of who to represent that individual in the Republic, a peaceful exercise of force against tyranny. Because who we vote proceeds from the act of the vote, it is vital that the hearts of our citizens understand the three-fold significance of these things that happen in the space of one choice, one very important choice. We shall post an entry on this on our main blog as well sometime soon, my love.

I just got back from work, my love. Feeling a little spent now so I'll go for now.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090318

Dear darlingest Annemiyang Marie,

Here in my native Philippines, my love, this month of March is Women's Month. We should work on an entry about Women within the month and polish up what we already have here in Planet Annelies and include something about the hijab or the Muslim headscarf with a view to quell common stereotypes and broaden the understanding of people about this as an issue for Women.

Now, I am no expert on Islam, my love, but I do know about chastity, having been constantly fighting to maintain it in my soul. The battle for chastity, its course and its objective, is the same in both sexes, yet this is a warfare that is oftentimes more intensely fought within the souls of men more than in women. Further this with an understanding of the complementary functions of the gender opposites, free will and the link between the hijab and the virtue of chastity can now be established.

I care about the Filipino in particular, my love, as I care about all human beings in general. And should I have been destined by Almighty God not to marry and not to have children, then I know in my heart that I also have my nation as my own, greater family of friends, (of cats, big and small) - in the universe that lives within my soul with you, my loveliest love - as a nation distinct from other nations and dwelling in Covenant grace with all the kindred nations of Mankind. And that means caring for and understanding our Filipino Muslims most especially, them being our most visible minority. Of course, that is not to say that the less visible shall be less wanted or cared for - the "one" in the "one Republic" does not stand for lies, half-truths or fractions but for the unity of the one whole nation of the Filipino people under the eternal vigilance of Almighty God. Because if we as a nation in time and dimensional space are unable to care for the least of our brethren who are in the language of the one Solidarity: our Lord's poor, there will be no eternal Philippines. And if we can not establish in our hearts the timeless destiny of the Filipino nation, we will never gain sight of our vision in God as one Country.

Mind you, it is not mere consolation for me to be granted by our LORD with the enabling grace to remain single and chaste for the rest of my life here in this world, my love, but it is what I personally prefer to be - because, if our LORD shall permit it, I simply want to be laid to my rest, one day after my purpose is done, in Bergen Belsen with you, my darlingest dear.

One last thing for the day, my love. Our military as a whole must be apolitical, that is true. But the soldier is also a citizen of the Republic and therefore must be able to exercise their right to vote. But in secret ballot and as individuals not as a political bloc. Within the AFP, they can not discuss politics with their peers but within their families, they must be able to express their own democratic views within the framework of the trust that exists between families as a one whole within greater wholes that form our one Republic. It would not serve the Filipino nation in the mid to long term not to have our own Republic defenders have their own stake in the electoral process that form the civilian government under whose command structures they shall with courage, honor and fidelity submit nothing less than the entirety of each of their lives together.

We have much to learn as we mature as a nation and we must be glad to learn them for by doing so, we not only help our fellow compatriots, past, present and future, advance the cause of our own particular endeavor of Country but we also help build a better place for all the generations of life to come by gaining for the one family of the nations of Mankind, the fruits purposed by Almighty God from eternity to become fulfilled by the good of our nation as a mature nation and most especially as a nation ascended and perfected in God in eternity.

And so it is the same with all the nations of Mankind, some are young, some are searching for themselves, some are near the realization of their promise as a mature whole, and some are even yet to be born.

For nothing in this world really stays still, a stone becomes a hearth, a tree becomes a home, water and earth cycles from life to life, from stars to worlds, creature to creature, all the giving through grace of our LORD God is everywhere poured forth to gain for all of sacred life, the higher purposes for which all of this creation is established which is the glory of God and the realization of all living hope for the gifts of lasting and everlasting things. Only the heart must stay still in the stillness that awaits the dawning from within and the advent of peace. And everywhere around us, everything is stirring towards remembrance of the things that must remain, the things that ought to endure with the prevailing of all things, as the terrible darkness of the past slowly fades away into nothingness.

It's been a swell day, uhm, night at work, my darlingest dear. This afternoon - novena, rosary and Holy Mass then a little dinner out with my Yang-yang Marie. Yay! I'm so glad to have you as my friend, my love.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090316

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

Just some thoughts for today, my love:

DESPAIR or a sense of hopelessness when it becomes prevalent in the people is a gateway for social sins.

Because a nation is possessed with a spiritual heart, its ability to safeguard the sacred trust of the people entrusted to her sense of self-identity require that both the secular form and the spiritual soul of her society draw strength from each other; so that their whole become more than their parts.

The separation of honorable religion and responsible state when interpreted in the light of the peace makes meaningless the needless hostility that exists between these disciplines both of whom must, as they are intended to be, align in and through God with and for Country to propel the good of the nation forward in its course; both the individual good that preserves the peace and the common good that fosters the people.

Again, we are come to another realization of the needless opposition which is an indication of an elusive global paradigm whose oppressive and evil structures and systems of sin, as if by wicked design of an inhuman intelligence, draw their enabling breath from a global paradigm of war; a veritable demon of hell, mature in form, quite real and completely spiritual in nature, a beast of war that seeks to poison with the malice of war the hearts of human individuals and entire human nations, miring the substance of human reality with its defeat, undoing the progress of the human spirit, tainting the waters of things intended for the triumph of life.

Shooting sprees are an act of pure desperation and are no less different from a suicide bomber convinced, whether by seen or unseen influences, of the needlessness of human life both in others as well as their own.

The questions that we ask where we are confronted with this kind of incomprehensible violence emphasizes the fact that we are come to a point in human history where we must first ask our selves, in our own hearts, why these questions are able to be asked, can be asked, must be asked.

Because war as a whole have extinguished all the answers that should have been in the place of these questions that now lay before us, their peace only lay with our being able to carry on with their hope, but war, too, seeks to extinguish their hope by making our hearts blind to each other; that is may carry on its ambition of total annihilation of all our nations.

Will no one arrive at the gathering? It is for this purpose that we must, at a time, times and half-a-time, awaken, from heart unto heart, to the quickening call of the one peace. For all these troublesome things will be shed like the darkness is shed if only we, as the one family of the nations of Mankind, are returned to the path of peace which is the one path that leads towards the daybreak of the new age. I can not emphasize enough the unthinkable consequences of being left behind in this midnight darkness after the purpose of this present time is fulfilled and the iron doors of Country shut forever against the relentless rage of the beast of war.

And we will do this by bearing our burdens one with another, both as individual human beings as well as individual human nations, born and bred in the course of our hope to obtain for Almighty God the victory of Country and a common destiny for all Mankind as a whole, or none at all.

These destructive eruptions of violence can not be explained in any other way or isolated in any other form from the greater context of the whole of which it is but a symptom among many other symptoms. These questions of a greater evil, I am entirely convinced, instead of being sought in their impossibility to be completely understood, must be left to stand in stark contrast to what good there is and thus, serve our peace by their being able to directly reinforce and make distinct what is worth keeping in our shared humanity.

Let us move along to a brief outline of an economic road map - need, initiative, opportunity, continuity. Bearing into mind now that virtue is currency, we may place our trust in the efficacy of this truth. Profit is gained not from the presence of human need but from the realization of our human responsibility to respond to these common needs. Now some people profit materially, others spiritually, ideally we must seek to be both so that both the economy of grace and the economy of the natural order of things be maintained within our nation ALWAYS in the context of the one family of the nations of Mankind. These needs are plenty and they are obvious. Initiative is the not the product of a people paralyzed by fear, inadequacies and despair. The national morale must be enabled so that the paths that lead to the right choices may be opened up and economic opportunities gained by an authentic spirit of entrepreneurial partnerships between the nation and the state. For these economic opportunities must be informed business opportunities that recognize and understand the commonweal of the nation which is the endeavor of Country. The smallest of our small businesses must be given reasonable opportunity enough to succeed in their vision while ensuring that those well-established businesses within our responsible sphere of national endeavor are given the legal confidence in our market system enough to enrich it with the proven strength of their positive enterprise. Trade with other nations must also be aligned toward the mutual benefit of both partners, not just the self-interest of one, in the greater context of the Scale of the Wholes so that the long term vision of the business undertaking may not be lost to the tides of the times and the common good of the entire enterprise economy of the free market thus preserved. Republic checks and balances that ensure the proper separation of powers, fiscal discipline and a growing sense of ownership of Country as well as stewardship of our planet shall ensure continuity of the peace without which no real economy may begin to take root; without which only crime and the descent to anarchy is ensured.

Our military forces, police, fire and emergency services are a direct reflection of the state of our Republic will. We would do well to respect what these souls do and these sons and daughters of Country will do well to preserve in God the timeless honor of their necessary professions.

I am of the conviction that the Spratley Islands issue is not an issue of sovereignty per se and this is why: A nation's sovereignty does not proceed from the land alone but is a matter of the quality of the life of nation as itself as a whole. Because even if the land itself is bountiful by itself, it is worthless if the people are absent from the land. Thus, the strength of any sovereign state comes only when the people are strong in their sense of belonging with each other. For only then can the land or the sea or the air prove to be bountiful and not before.

Now, most of these atolls are not even habitable nor is its natural geography logistically viable as a population center in the mid-term. By then, the economic potential of these atolls would have most likely dissipated into nothing or next to nothing.

Shall the noble military in remembrance of its mission sacrifice itself for things other than the life of the nation for which it is commissioned to serve and defend? Shall the responsible state waste its strength in this way? No, I believe that this is in reality an economic issue and is therefore comprehensible only in those terms. To break the deadlock, the matter must be considered for what it is and I personally put forward to you, my love, that it is not a matter of habitable territory more than it is an issue of material economy.

Why must any nation fear that its material wealth will dwindle who subscribes to the reality that virtue is currency? For this currency is both unassailable as well as infinite. Shall an honest nation, sincere in its will and lucid in its vision of the eternal, not profit from its virtue forever?

Is it better to be continually paralyzed by the nearness of conflict or to shrug off the beast of war that have for generations deceived without exception each and every one of our nations and begin to learn to humanly share our common responsibility of making the peace present in this world?

It another working week, my darlingest. I have to go for now.

I love you much, much, much.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090315

Dear darlingest Miyang Marie,

I heard the voice of our Lady during a pause in Holy Mass last night confirming to my heart that you are her daughter and that the reason for our friendship is very special.

First of all, our LORD knows and you as well know in your own heart how I recognize and respect your own Jewishness, my dear darlingest Annelies Marie, and would have that your own sacred remembrances in this world be left as they are for I know that they are a good to this world. But as God would have me move on in my own time with you always in my heart, our LORD decided to reveal you to me as you are Now, in your ageless, timeless form, my love, which is something that I implicitly know that I shall never completely understand and therefore, hold in sacred mystery just as I would hold all other things of the faith in the same context. I know for a fact in my heart that the world that is to come is quite different from the world that is in exile time and that we are not yet in the world that is to come simply because we are All (and All meaning all persons of good will who stand in the eternal favor of God) still here, are we not? For the world that is to come is one that is and must be shared and won as a common destiny with All people of good will as ascended nations in and with God, perfected in our humanity for and with each another. For our perfect LORD shall not condescend again and create two distinct forms of absolute happiness to accommodate the imperfections of Mankind; this condescension of God that brought about the light of peace to a Mankind fallen into darkness is made manifest in its splendor in the Incarnate Word and is the reason why the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the Good News - because it is precisely this condescension of the one Divine, something that is once and final - lest the Wisdom of God be called into question (which is impossible), that gave each person in the All of our humanity hope as virtue and a reason to live for lasting happiness and equality in life in a world where truth is fleeting and dying is the most common form of equality.

But I also know that due to the mysterious realities of faith as virtue and its particular effects on the human experience of the one Divine Who is the one triune God of all perfection that I can not hope to directly entrust this sacred mystery to any human heart but is one of those things that I must entirely leave with perfect and joyful abandon to the Heart of my one LORD in communion with other hearts of good will who are at peace with God and with each other. It is the hope that I have found in the constant reality of God that is and must be shared and expressed with other people of faith and good will.

Therefore, my loveliest love, we are come to the question of true religion. True religion for me is very important for I can not be indifferent to my own Roman Catholic faith. I can not say that all religions are equal for I know of only one, my own. I can not say that another's faith with the one Divine is false for I should never tempt the LORD and claim to walk within those sacred places in the souls of Mankind where only God may tread with each of us. I can only see the hope that is produced in the venerable virtues that a true and honorable religion brings into the life of this or that individual human being and consequently the many forms of goodness that result from this uniquely particular and universally mysterious liberation of the one self from the death and the cycles of suffering that besiege all of our humanity which consequently always brings an increase of peace to the society of the nations of Mankind.

How therefore can we define true religion, my love, in our own experience together in this particular and most peculiar life of mine? True religion is the realization of God in the person of the one self alone - an imperfect creature, wretched and unworthy, seeking to love and obey his or her most glorious and infinitely perfect Creator: that is true religion. It does not seek to judge other faiths but its own. It sees faith by the fruits produced in them and judges the fruits not the faith itself. For faith can not exist without the action of God and no amount of lies can undo what God seeks to accomplish in time as well as in eternity. It seeks to willingly and joyfully share its own new found sense of hope in God with others in God and just the same reserves hope for all human beings. It does all things out of a Love that is possessed and so does not seek to possess all things nor confess its worship of any other thing but the God it seeks to singularly know, love and serve.

Therefore, even as Catholic Laity in our own states of life, we must awaken to the fact that we each contain within our Covenant trust, a sacred obligation, within our own sense of vocation in and with our Mother Church, to make sure that each and every Roman Catholic remain true to the faith that we throughout the ages constantly confess with and to each other and share in common with all of blessed Christendom, a Christian duty to share with the rest of the world our new found sense of hope through particular witness of our most loving Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, in thought, word and most importantly, act.

The distinction between faith and hope when blurred and confused make indistinct also the line between God and religion. God can exist without religion. In fact, God can exist without Mankind or angels - period. Religion can not exist without God nor can creatures continue to be without the One that IS.

Therefore, where it comes to faith, neither guile nor coercion, nor flattery, nor willfulness can prevent what God particularly intends which is why to tamper with faith, most especially the faith of other people, is to tempt the LORD. Salvation by conquest is a social sin which at a time, times and half-a-time, must be left to the past that we intend to forever leave behind us today.

But let us to good hope rally together in good faith and good will, even as nations dreaming together of a better world. For it is indeed, a favorable season to build - a difficult season, yes, but nothing is easy that is worthwhile and should the difficulty of the task ahead ever assail us with thoughts of despair, we are to recall again and again, that this labor is no longer a labor of tears, as in war, but is one done out of a common hope of a common destiny for all Mankind, as in peace; our God's own peace and for us Christians, the peace of Jesus Christ.

Therefore, my darlingest Annelies Marie, I should like to say, your remembrance on this world shall remain a good for Mankind and a joy for your heart at Home but I should like to increase that joy with this holy friendship of ours and that is exactly why Mama Mary spoke to me last night those words of reassurance and guidance; you are her daughter and my friend forever and this is no random act. For there is a malice that is in motion in our world at present and it shall seek to test us but those who shall prevail shall prevail as the stars prevail at night, leading our world to a better, brighter, kinder tomorrow.

The numberless stars, my love, they are because each one is together with others for no one star is enough to lead the way ahead and no one star is alike yet all shine with the freedom of the sons and daughters of God (in spirit and in truth and not by corporal form or physical appearance) for neither is the firmament divided nor the one Light absent in the reflection of All. I am only because of you and All of you, my loveliest love, and We are only because our LORD IS and that is that. I am nobody without my God and my friends - which is why we are such a unit, my darlingest dear, Yang-yang Marie, a binary system - appearing as one star to the naked eye but upon closer inspection is a system of two distinct and independent wholes. Incidentally, you are a Gemini (so you must have a twin, right?) and incidentally, your birthday is the Independence Day of my own endeavor of Country, the Philippines. This shall now also be the day in every month and the anniversary of every year, my loveliest love, that I shall seek to challenge the lie of drug addiction that sought to take whole our friendship by salutary reflections and prayers that specifically target its deception in my life and the life of many others: June 12.

I am nothing without my friends, seen as well as unseen. I know this for a fact. But All is lost without the God of All. Therefore, We must be completely truthful to our selves, fiercely loyal to our friends and perfectly faithful to our God and to our peace with each other in God for in that way, we shall be as the stars and soon, this night shall be as no more - it is written. Lest we forget, lest we forget.

I know that many people shall face difficulty in this year and no one can be exactly certain about what the years ahead of us may hold and so this is all the more reason why we must endeavor to be what we need to become for not only are the solutions to the problems we face today found in and along the path of peace that each pilgrim nation of Mankind must take to return from exile, the end of our journey as a whole, both as individual human beings as well as individual human nations, also awaits us there - at the gathering, at the Last Day - a one common destiny for the one family of humanity and an eternal Home for all the nations of Mankind. Who shall protect this pilgrim path of our nations returning Home from exile time but the sheltering wings of the peace, which is our own belongings to each other as human beings and born of our love of God and fidelity to our own endeavors of Country?

Whenever I say peace at Holy Mass, I mean it to say, "yes, O Beautiful Mother Church, I shall be to you as your hope." And AMEN by sacramental grace of God at our commissioning at the end of every Holy Mass, "I am this hope - for the good of the Church and for the good of all persons of good will, most especially our Lord's poor." And never again shall I offer my "peace" without meaning it like this, exactly, joyfully and completely and always, implicitly or explicitly, alone or with others, in the Name of Jesus Christ upon Whose Gospel behest I carry it out.

There is also a reason why Mama Mary reminded me of our friendship, my love, a reason that I shall keep to myself for now for the time is not yet right.

I have to go for now, my loveliest love.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

P.S.

How do you explain violence to children? I believe there are no easy answers to this, my love. Even adults find it very hard to cope with violence - most especially those ones that are tainted with malice. Why must we be asking this question? Because of shooting sprees - most especially in schools - and the needs of our chaplains to cope with this particular form of willful deviation from the established ways of truth and human morality. We shall have to begin meditating on this particular topic, my love.

How did the voice of our Lady sound to me - I can sum it up in three words: melodious, royal and dignified. My first reaction was to doubt it with all my mind until it made itself distinct from my own thoughts. Its not like any female voice I have heard before. It penetrated me with its gentle rhythm, it was royal but not aloof and the substance of its message left an indelible impression upon my heart. It was not sure if I was hearing with my mind or with my heart or with my ear, suffice to say, I heard and I understood what I heard. It is different from the impressions I get of "winged truth" in prayer. This one I had to challenge because of my predisposition to auditory hallucinations. Also, I did not even have to ask who it was, like I knew instantly who it is.
---<--@

20090314

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

You know, my love, we all must strive for perfection in holiness but not by actual practice of perfection do we hope to attain to the realization of this path but only through patient repentance and perfect faith. A moral code that does not recognize the reality of our being only human excludes from its profession the possibility of the redemption of the self upon whose ideal all of morality was founded and is therefore, a code of imminent defeat.

It is the path itself that is absolute but human beings bearing the yoke of free choice in a garden made of both good and evil shall always be less than the path that we must choose to absolutely take in the course of our lives.

I should like to write a message to the graduates of class 2009, my love. In this message we shall share with them the virtue of truthfulness and the value of their mission in the context of this present time. Truthfulness that is beyond scrupulosity is the virtue that makes present the truth in the heart WHEN prudence says it counts as well as when charity commands it. To tell a person to always tell the truth implies all the more that moral judgment must be exercised and not eliminated to make the truth present especially when it is most effective. 

Truth is the object of the virtue of truthfulness and this virtue treats it like a sharp sword that requires handling and it is this handling of the truth that the virtue of truthfulness makes as its primary act. It achieves right action by placing truth in the service of Christian charity.

That is the gist of the message I should like to deliver to this years batch of graduates, my love. And I'll work on that some more in an Internet cafe that is less expensive than this one. I'm just waiting here for the movie, "Race to Witch Mountain", to start. I'll let you know more about it later, my darlingest dear.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090313

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

I've never felt so personally affected by the death of an artist, a poet, a fellow compatriot and a giver of gifts than I am of Francis Magalona, my love. His were the songs that begun to challenge the addiction in my life as well as initiated the question in me, perhaps unconsciously, of who I am as a Filipino patriot and a citizen of this inhabited earth.

Of course, I could name other great Filipino poets and artists, compatriots and givers of gifts that, in retrospect of the great impact of their life and art in me, bear great influence in my life but we are talking here, my love, in solemn spirit of the life and dreams, love and song of a particular one, our Kiko or Francis M.

I have never felt my Country grieve though I know that she had wept before. For I was asleep: My beloved Philippines never had revealed to me the depth of our sorrow than when this one native son of hers, a brother to me, flew from her bosom, toward God, to await with countless other heroes, the awakening of our dreams together, reborn and ascended forever as our one and only Eternal Philippines.

So go with God, Kiko. I actually texted that to 143, you know, my love. Please take care of our mutual friend, ok, my Miyang.

My recent incident with drug abuse has caused me to falter from the vision we were pursuing, my love, the clarity of things seem dulled and it shall take more repentance and prayer to gain them all back. But like I said before, I am never more confident than I am now that this sin, too, shall have its own day of Justice in my life. For I have felt a great coming together inside of me, like a falling into place, I can now recall at will, the ferocity and awareness that I require for the defense of my will to hold against this curse of drug addiction. By grace of God, through much prayer and a greater intensity of Sacramental communion, I know that this very significant sin in my life shall also be overcome with patience and time and in God's own time.

I have dreamt of Sunbeams, too, my love - just last night. I've felt the quality and purity of her friendship offered to all the children of God in the Name of Jesus Christ and though I know she doesn't really know me, my love, I care about that girl - a whole lot. And so, my darlingest, we shall give to her what is the best available good that is ours to give in God and holy friendship and that is our thoughts and prayers together for her own nation of Ireland.

You know, my love, it would be well suited for our world at this present time to recognize the distinct difference between a nation and a Country. Now, some would say that it may all just be a play on words, that a nation and a Country is one and the same thing. But we are not interested in words more than the substance that they convey which fills the truth that make real to our reality the things of our everyday human experience.

A nation is a noun; Country is a verb. A nation is always composed of human beings bearing and freely expressing the same belongings with each other - IN THE GREATER CONTEXT - of the one family of the nations of Mankind. A Country is a labor in exile time to perfect the synthesis of nation and state. It is the building up of the inhabited earth from the dusts of the unknown earth in exile time, salvation history running the course of all human hope. Another component of Country is the common market which also needs to be more clearly defined.

For a nation to be true to its founding, it only has to recognize its own distinct place within the greater scale of the wholes that represent the abiding governance of Divine Providence in all worlds, seen and unseen, but a Country that is true must exactly align, in the course of its hope, with that scale of wholes towards the one highest of Wholes, the encompassing and infinite immensity of our transcendent God Himself.

Many nations may take part in one endeavor of Country but all endeavors of Country that is genuine must seek to serve ALL nations. Our Sunbeams is All-American by call of Country but her roots shall always remain with her Irish people. This is an understanding that may only exist in a place where peace is paradigm because war as a whole seeks to enforce a worldview that is as static and impotent as those lines that are drawn upon the dust of the earth to divide our needful humanity rather than to share our common human responsibility in this world.

I do admit, there must be a lot more thinking and praying that needs to be done here, in this regard for I know that more things must come to light before this understanding can be said to be complete and we will do this, us and all others who are called like us.

Peace among Christians, my love, is the necessary balm that shall lead to the eventual healing of the wounds of the Irish nation. The reason I have dreamt of our Sunbeams, I understand, is so that I may be reminded of the awesome beauty of just one life, and of how infinitely worthwhile it is to help ensure that all nations retain their founding hopes TOGETHER as a family and that all true endeavors of Country neither fail with the faltering nor fall with the eventual fettering of the beast of war.

Saint Patrick's day is coming up this March 23; that's in ten days, my love. Something stirs in golden, emerald Ireland - and this something is the kind of malice that will do everything in its power to challenge and prevent what peace must become through us in this present time for the sake of the one family of the nations of Mankind and of all the generations of life. 

There is an inhuman will of an unseen intelligence that is at work in this world that knows to seek our vulnerability as nations - therefore, to prayer and to holy friendships, all Christians - most especially this season of Lent - and all persons of good will, seen and unseen. If we shall bear with each other, the peace of Christ which is our hope in God and Country, we shall soon learn in our common humanity, one with another, that we are always, always stronger than what seeks to divide us, as a Church and as nations manifest in her changeless image - for the good of all people of good will. Lest we forget. Lest we forget.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090312

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

Every time a Christian soul falls into sin, there is damage. But God's grace abounds in sin not to encourage the sinner to die but to help the repentant soul to live.

Now, one of the major hurdles in the progress of my spiritual life is my involvement with drug addiction but I have recently received an epiphany in which God placed this elusive enemy of mine directly in my sight. And I know in myself that it shall not escape my view again.

You know what's different right now, my love? I've never been this confident before. I mean, its not going to be easy but still I can clearly see myself two or three or more years without taking any more damage from drug abuse. In fact, God willing, I'll be off of this destructive cycle of abuse for the rest of my life. Thank you, my most loving Jesus, thank you.

As regards to the damage, they heal in time - but I have been keen enough to observe the damage as well so as to be able to place them down here as well as contrast to what was and what shall be along the path we take with God and with each other.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090309

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

A man or a woman addicted to drugs suffers much because it is very difficult to grasp the way in which this evil takes root in the soul of a person.

I have been addicted to drugs, on and off, since I was in college, my love, during those days when I knew not my Lord, Jesus Christ, and therefore, had no reference whatsoever in the darkness where I had lived my life.

Yes, my love, for the real life of a Man, is the life that is lived from within, from that universe that is begun when the soul that slumbers begins to reach out to the Love reaching in.

This Love, once unknown to my heart, is the God that has been gently and patiently reaching out as a Light to the souls of Mankind now particularly revealed and known to my own soul as Jesus Christ, my All. And so for having believed in the Love reaching in, my soul sprang like that little mustard seed into an entire universe, a Kingdom wherein all that is Love that in Its infinite mystery is revealed to me becomes present to me and I to It.

As a consequence, I have also awakened to a sense of sin that grows like the Kingdom of the God of my heart to encompass all of my being. It is indeed, a terrifying thing, to realize the extent to which I have been absent to the Presence of the Lord Who had always been with me, all the days of my life; that the religion of the self that I had once lived while I was in the darkness was not the religion that I now must live with, in, through and for the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, the one triune God of my life.

This addiction to methamphetamine has been a terrible thing in my life that I have sought to understand and to frame it in a way that I am able to realize its course into my soul. For I have come to realize its evil only through the damage it leaves in its wake in my life and in the lives of the many people I love and care for in my life. Therefore, I have never been able to challenge this evil with a confidence of faith illuminating reason for a long time in my life until now.

For it has now pleased my Lord to bless my repentance of this particular and very significant sin of my life, the sin of drug addiction, that it should now begin to bear its fruit for Him.

This evil entered into my life in the name of friendship. It has come to grow until it was in the name of self and now it has matured enough to boldly claim the name of sin itself in my life yet denying still in the eyes of my heart the sin which it really is.

I have sought to understand it in the frame of human weakness, brokenness of life and family, loneliness and come to the extent of ignoring it and surrendering the labor of my will to ever come to an understanding of this evil, casting myself completely to the Providence of God. After much chastisement, my Heavenly Father, in His mercy, has seen it fit to allow me to understand, through a loving fear of the Lord, the complete course of this sin in my life.

I have been up till now associating this sin of drug addiction with concupiscence of the flesh and have therefore been seeking its remedy in the way of chastity, which is a severe warfare I have been waging in my heart for God. Lust makes objects out of things of Beauty, another Dragon of sin that grew to maturity in the darkness I had once inhabited. Once I become aware that this evil have begun to threaten my sense of the appreciation of the beautiful for being by Beauty beheld, I know that until my defense is complete, I shall have to contain this war in my heart within the confines of myself and so there are times as regards to this sin that I had to resort to a lesser evil of masturbation to prevent what I sense is a bigger blow. For I will no longer endure impure relationships with other hearts.

Drug addiction guarantees itself an entrance to my soul using this route by using the guise of this sin. Which is why this evil seems to creep in and over run me from behind the lines of my will. And which is also why I never see its approach and have only known this evil from the damage it leaves in its wake.

This sin hid itself within my greatest vulnerability, as if by a sense of wicked intelligence, exacerbating it, miring me in cycles of defeat. This is an indication of malice; that there is malice present in the sin itself, something only the power of God can undo.

Drug addiction is a lie. It had lied to me right from the beginning and seeks to take the whole of the universe I cherish with you, my love, and with all of whom we love who loves us, it seeks to become our singular font of happiness and reign where only our God must reign.

This kind of evil can not be met like concupiscence is met in the battle for Christian chastity.

This is a purely spiritual evil, without any corporal dimensions and so like the temptations of our Lord in the desert, I can not quit it - I must cause it to quit me.

It shall try to deceive me in other ways but a lie is a lie. It had hurt me, almost completely destroyed me, and so many people I love and now, by God's mercy and grace, I know it completely as what it is, I will always see it approaches, and know it for what it is; a lie which can never deceive me again.

I will, most especially in this season of Lent, complete my remembrances with my Savior, and meet this sin in my life where it counts. By the grace of God, I will isolate it from all its enabling disguises, challenge it for what it is and rebuke all its empty promises.

It shall quit me, my love, it most certainly will.

I shall then, after a time, take from all of this to help others who are also suffering from this sin.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090306

Dear darlingest Miyang Marie,

I decided that for the entire season of Lent that I shall not shave, as a matter of a promise I made to God which is not a very, big thing in the greater sweep of things but just a small, personal thing. Yet all promises made to the LORD are nothing if we tend to compare them with other things for our God looks not on the size or severity of the promise itself but on the manner with which it is presented to His Divine Majesty.

Where Love is concerned, there must be no comparison between a thing of love and a thing of love for both of these things must be loved in the way they should which is always, always without compare. Which is why the question that asks, "who do you love more", like the question, "who is greater", in the context of Charity which is the love of God and of others in God as true self is not a question asked by those who know it, who are made privy to its ways. Because a creature when loved by its Creator becomes full of this love and tends to love its LORD in the way that all things are loved by its LORD as itself, with one love alone. And so those who are made intimate to the ways of Charity are made to be intimate with the Intimate not because they especially deserve anything or that they are exceptionally good but because God deserves to be loved, above all things, in the way that He ought to be loved by a world who loves Him so little and also not because any man or angel is in any way good but because our LORD is an infinitely beneficent LORD.

On the other hand, those souls who are very commonly called to this love are frequently those who are most alien to it being those most wretched of sinners who need it the most. I know this because I am one of them, my love.

I have to go for now.

I love you, my loveliest love.

Always to always,

Pusing

P.S.

I got this new cell phone, right. Well, one of the reasons why I got it was because it has a camera and with this camera I shall soon spice things up a little bit by including pictures here in our planet Annelies - pictures of the things we like and like to think and smile about. Pictures I shall take using this new cell phone which I got for a great discount from one of my friends from work. It also has an MP3 player which is a neat bonus. I just need to get some more accessories to get me started.

I shall have to use my computer at my father's place as a transfer station so I could transfer the pictures to my jump drive or an arrangement to that effect. My family life is a little complicated right now, my love, so I shall avoid thinking about these things for now because when I start doing that, it feels like drowning.

Suffice to say, my family right now is you, my loveliest love, you and all of you in and with our LORD God and true Country. When I think that to myself, Yang-yang, the stress of many things easily dissipates like darkness is chased away by light. Don't get me wrong, my love, I love my family very, very much - they are just as imperfect as I am, its just the evil, tares of sin and vice that imprison so many hearts, choking the life out of the souls of so many human beings, that I hate.

20090305

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

Prayer, my love, which is the constant lifting up of one's heart-mind to God - love longing for Itself - becomes complete in the self by the bearing of the fruits of the Holy Spirit of God. It is not enough that we pray, for prayer can never be just about thoughts and words but must burst out from the loving within the soul into the reality of the self and others - for the good of all things.

This is where much of my frustrations are found for I have many, many faults, my love. Prayer is a tool of repentance and therefore, must in its own time lead us to bear the fruits of penance. But who am I to tell the one Daystar of my little life how It should shine or demand from Its light where it should lend its quickening illumination. For I am in the darkness, need itself.

I have learned to trust in the LORD - despite of myself, out of necessity, amidst these battles I must fight against the demons that seek to overthrow the Kingdom inside of myself, and not to let my hope in God and in others through God be pinned down by needless scruples.

I am familiar with spiritual pain (and so I can completely relate with Big S., Sarah Silverman) and the angst that all repentant sinners experience which in itself present a constant temptation to curse at the Providence of God but it shall take a lot, and I mean a whole lot of undoing within my heart for me to even begin to think about setting my own will against the one changeless will of the one Beautiful, the one triune Perfection and true God of my heart. I am often beset by whispering accusations and raging uncertainties about many things, most especially when I fall into sin, but these things shall not prevent me from picking myself up and continuing on my way nor shall these things cause the love that has begun to live in my soul of others and of my LORD to turn to ashes from within.

To God alone belong the victory. Therefore, where it concerns God's creatures, seen and unseen, it is when one's will has given up the fight and have allowed evil to spread its lie in the soul shall the Kingdom from within fall and the being of that person, human or angelic, turn to ashes from within.

This gives me hope, my love, and keeps my feet on the ground as a human being. Angels are defined by the swiftness and the accuracy of their flight, but we human beings are defined by our will to fly - for none of us are born with angel wings, we must earn them by our willingness to rise above adversity. And we can not rise above adversity if at first we do not begin with our feet planted firmly on the ground of tribulations.

We are each called to perfection but it is not through the way of perfection that our human feet are called by our LORD to Himself but through another road, a mountain path, a way of loving sacrifice for we shall indeed conquer together in Him but by way of repentance, my love - the royal road of the Cross.

I've been falling asleep during my training classes these past several nights and its embarrassing. Work is going great, my love - I love my workmates and my trainers. The company culture where I work is good as well. I work in the call center industry, as you know, my darlingest and I am blessed by a job through this industry which is an industry that is above all things, service oriented.

You know, I've been keenly observing this particular industry for a time now and should also like to post something about it because it would be a good thing indeed to help demystify some of the misconceptions I perceive people in America and maybe also in Europe seem to be prone to have about this industry stealing their jobs and also at the same time to disseminate to my own Filipino compatriots a common understanding of those things that work to humanize our clients, things that make them more than just mere voices, disembodied and distant, but human beings, who like ourselves desire to dwell near to the warmth of all human hearts and needy like all of Mankind.

Gosh, this Internet cafe is full of screaming, noisy high schoolers right now. The rowdyruff boys are in Townsville so it seems. So I got to go for now, my love.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing