Wednesday, September 9, 2009

20090909

Dear darlingest Miyang,

9/9/9

So much chatter today about the symmetrical positioning of the calendar numbers, 9/9/9, my loveliest love. And it would be a good thing if it were universally viewed to be a good thing but these things are never that way, it seems. Why? Because our experience of time is always more than its parts or the sum of its parts.

I'd like to avoid getting into deeper waters at this time, my loveliest love. Suffice to say, 9/9/9 - if today, it gives us a choice - then, let this leading lead us to experience for ourselves what is good, what is true and what is timeless, in ourselves and in other people like ourselves. That way, this day fades away not into oblivion but into eternity where we, if we are good and God-willing, endure in peace and good will with God and with each other, shall be able to re-live it forever at the prevailing of the purpose of the all of creation.

I still have other thoughts I'd like to put down with you here in our Planet Annelies but I am at an Internet cafe at this time and it's really noisy. I'll have to find some quiet time soon.
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

20090908

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

I'm so thankful, my darling. I did well during our second assessments at work and were given passing marks by the quality analyst who scored my mock customer call. I guess I'm still a little bit tired because it has not all sunk in yet. I know I'll be happier later on when I get more sleep /smile. I really hope and pray that our whole training class makes it - or what's left of us, that is.

Something Beautiful

You know, my loveliest love, that I always check for news about you filtering up and down, in and around the proverbial grapevine for not only am I jealous to defend your remembrance, as I should, I am also personally keen on finding out anything more about your own history here on earth. And yesterday, I am happy to report, I was rewarded by this totally new (in my eyes at least) photograph of you.

I once asked myself in the darkest days of my life how something so beautiful can only add to my despair, my Miyang. Looking at this picture of you and feeling your love dwelling together with mine in our heart of hearts together, I know now what you weren't meant to be in my life.

And I thank the LORD, our God, always for making me understand why.
---<--@

I know I've got other things that I feel right now that I can not find the words to express, my darlingest, and I trust them all to be good. But I think I shall leave it off for now and just stay with this quiet feeling in my heart.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

Monday, September 7, 2009

20090907

Dear darlingest Miyang Marie,

Hello, my darling! I really don't have much today - I still have half of my laundry to do and some more sleep (hopefully) to catch up on before the beginning of another working week for me later on tonight. This week is when we (meaning me and my training class) are slotted to take our second assessments so understandably the tempo is going up a notch. I've learned a good deal during the last two weeks we've been taking in calls and am reasonably confident about it all. In contrast to my confidence levels during the first assessments, this is a great improvement.

I've managed to re-read and proofread a prior work of mine which I will now entrust here with you in our Planet Annelies, my loveliest love. This work is dated 20090720.

Guidance

Our national sovereignty lies with the people. All of our geographical bounds, their resources and market potential, exist for the people. Our state, in all its levels, that represent our one Filipino nation in the democratic forums our one Republic undertaking of Country derive its authority to govern its peers through the will of Divine Providence from the mandate of the people. All of our endeavors of community, across all of our generations, that give life to our nation are undertaken by the people. The state itself ultimately is also of the people, deriving its particular belonging from the people. Our own sense of self identity is a common reality established by the memory of the hopes of our people, that lead us toward remembrance and the sanctification of our hopes in time.

Our nation is a vessel of sacred life which above all else is endowed by the Almighty God with a will of peace to shelter the generations of the people.

Therefore, time, territory, treasure - these things are negotiable items. They have the ability to renew themselves given time according to the needs of sacred life. But life, above all human life, is non-negotiable.

If we, as the Filipino people, in the service of our citizenship with each other, are ever to enter into battle, then let there be no other reason than this - because we are true to our commitments to our one nation; that we may, as a people together, fight to preserve and advance what promises we represent for each other and bring out what is best in ourselves as citizens of our one Republic peace.

For what else is a nation but our families, friends and dear ones, what else is our motion of Country but the will to shelter and provide for them - in peace and good will? What else are other nations made of but the same, what else is their will of Country but the same? And what hope have they entrusted to the care of each other apart from our own belongings to each other - but only the hope to live and to preserve their posterity?

The honor of our nations are not offended by disputes concerning the earth hereupon or the visible universe above or even the timeless void immediately beyond. These are things that test our understanding and if sought in the right spirit and with the necessary virtue, cultivate our potential for good and strengthen the familial bond between our nations.

Neither our national sovereignty nor our cultural integrity are ever that fragile. For what has been built by the actions of all human communities can not be undone for our nations are more than what we can see here on earth.

The honor of our nations are offended only by the lack of our sense of timeless remembrance of ourselves. For the heart of the children of Mankind stir only for this, unto remembrance. For it is only through remembrance and the sanctification of all human hopes in time that are we ever beckoned forward by the will of our Creator into the greater purposes of our LORD's glorious creation.

Much have been given to us, much also is expected of us to give and to provide for the needs of our own present time. War threatens to consume our hope but this is only so because we are not present to each other in the here and in the now - in God and Country, for God and Country.

For our hopes exist neither in the past nor in the future and if we leave this lineage unguarded in the here and now of the present by our refusal to accept the eternal memory of each other as our LORD intended us to be as human beings and as human nations together, the gravity of these times will sink ourselves and our communities deeper into the mire of false hopes unto tears and unto despair and we shall waste our all our lives and our generations in endless battles unto dissolution.

If there is division, bridge it not with the despair of war for this is exactly what war intends and the relief of two thousand years shall provide us with many validating examples of this. The calling of the times also press our hearts to yield to the common labor of this most favorable season for building. War has held our nations hostage for too long and for too much has the darkness ruled over our will - War is a lie - it never belonged here on our earth. It was never part of the original purposes for which our LORD established the realm of Mankind. And so however much we would like to plant the anchors of our hopes firmly in War, because virtue is not a native of the void of war but of the heaven of our LORD's golden eternity, it would only sink deeper and deeper into the nothingness. For War is just as empty of promise as it's defeated master, a tyrant and a murderer from the beginning.

Let us now build our world, O my friends, but with the hope of peace this time. If not for our present generations, for our Starshine and all of their generations of life.

Therefore, let us not cast our labors into the darkness for this darkness shall only wane behind us for we have but one path to take and we must take this path together as one family of nations. Let us allow ourselves to be swept away once again in the great all-embracing order of the all of creation. Upon our peace together in our hearts let us ascend and upon our understanding of each other in our world let us build upon belongings upon belongings unto unity and pull our inhabited earth away from all of this maddening darkness, eastward unto the gate of each our Eden's returning, eastward unto the one Peace of our Father Abraham, unto healing and strength for all our nations, unto shelter and prosperity for all our generations and respite for our failing world.

For no other reason does the noble military exist but to preserve the one family of the nations of Mankind. At the Last Day, our LORD Himself and His hosts will contend with War and the enemies of sacred life and all our crying together would come to an end. But until then, we shall observe the peace and turning away from war, build from our friendships the shape of this new age to come.

This will be our guidance.
---<--@

There was another recent ferry incident over here in the Philippines, my loveliest love. That these incidents are more frequent than seldom are an indication to me of a particular state of things, you know. An understanding of the Guidance that I have laid down with you above when it is viewed in the relief of all of these indications create a sense of mission - something that we, as a Filipino nation must do - and I feel this with all of my heart. It is our will of Country.

I've also been looking at the UN Millennium Development Goals and have been working to relate it with our thinking on the Morality of Human Need.

I love you, my Anne.

Always to always,

Pusing

Friday, September 4, 2009

20090904

Dear darlingest Miyang Marie,

Some Thoughts 20090904

I've thought of a greeting card line for Twilight Pawprints, my loveliest love - either "Kameowsta?" or "Kameowmeowsta?" I'm still developing this and some other ideas... I'm thinking of writing a script for a tele-nobela as well as inspired to work on some inspiring leads that I should like to express as poetry. Of course, I still owe you heaps of haikus, my Miyang.

You know, we are where our hearts are so the truth of our own particular belongings to each other and what words we use to describe them are always two different things. One is the truth, the other leads to the truth. If we are where are hearts are and we know we belong, cor ad cor loquitur, then even without words, we are. Just a thought, my loveliest love.
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090904e

These thoughts I collected last 20090902, my darlingest:

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

You know, things seem to be on the up and up, at least I do feel that way right now, my loveliest love. Right now, I'm just thankful and its a very good feeling to have.

I'm starting to get the hang of things at work and hope to be able to pass our second phase assessments. I also intend on focusing on my recovery and I do have a lot of things going right now that I feel will help me along this road, my love.

That is why, I just want to appreciate all these good things in my life right now.
---<--@

A Prelude to Freedom

You know, next year is a pivotal year for the Philippines, my darlingest. All the things I have been writing about that concerns her own Republic peace, they all converge on that one day in May of next year when the citizenry of this one, particular undertaking of Country shall be called upon by our one Filipino nation to the vote.

If we, as citizens, do not understand the vote, then we, as citizens also, will not understand what it means to have a voice in the democratic forums of our one Republic.

This only means that we are allowing force to eventually rule over our reason. Any tyranny, for it to mature, must always be a thing allowed by the people. And in our case, my love, this cycle begins again anew next year at the ballot boxes.

To sell one's own vote and to sell one's own soul, these two things are virtually the same. In the former, you lose your freedom and in the latter, your humanity. And verily, all human beings need both.

I remain vigilant for our Philippines, for our one family of nations, my love, and for peace.
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090904d

This work I begun 20090901, my loveliest love, and I am yet in the process of pondering on it myself:

Our one Human Habitation


Cast adrift in this great void of time, in a remote spiral arms of our one Milky Way galaxy, but one upon one of more than a billion known galaxies that lay spread in their great clusters across the vast expanse of the visible universe; upon the life bearing regions of a nameless yellow star, lay a nameless, native planet of earth - a world embraced by those familiar circling of seasons held in their great cycles by the perennial sweep of each our measured round about a singular middle aged star we simply call, our sun; a world sheltering these worlds within ourselves.

This is the reality of our one planetary home.

It is a reality that while seemingly being presently obscured by the prevailing darkness of the times, is nevertheless the abiding truth that prevails as the one common reality of our one planetary home.

We are upon this earth, a world embarked upon an inevitable journey toward an inescapable destiny that, while it remains hidden and unbeknownst even to the understanding of many, is nevertheless an unfolding of a reality that has and ever will be a truth that is and must be shared by and with all human beings as the one common reality of our one human habitation.

Upon this, our home world, we as human beings have pondered together the questions of our existence.

Each these question as questions bent and inward sought like answers seeking its way into thought.

Each these thoughts as thoughts we must leave afloat upon the cumulative tide of each those silent moment we spend sought in our seeking.

Each our seeking like our prayers met by our ascending with each moment that rises and falls with each moment spent in the pondering of that great and unfathomable silence, awash upon a void, hostile beyond hostile to all of sacred life.

We are by what answers we bear for each other, ever like the twinkling of each of those unseen stars rising in great arcs upon the great ocean of our LORD's eternity, an inward part of the rising and falling of one firmament, an integral part of the seasons of our one native sky.

These seasons of our one native sky are the interior seasons within each and every human soul that when perceived through the ebb and flow motions of our coming together in our great belongings under the sun, become the great celestial sweep of that one unseen cycle rising from deep within the soul of all Mankind.

And it is this one unseen cycle that universally attests to our common human witness of that one great and unfathomable purpose of all creation, the one great celestial cycle, the one gathering of the all of sacred life, and the one destiny toward which we are purposed to steer the one common reality of our one human habitation.

We are like the questions that we ask, borne by each our own common experience of our one human habitation.

We are by what answers we bear for each other carried afloat upon the great sweep of the physical motions of this vast and empty realm of the visible universe.

For we are through each other, our own seamless experience of our one common human reality, the experience of our own human habitation.

Begun at the timeless birth of all human togetherness, we are upon the earth, upon this one great and visible realm of our one common human habitation with each other, as those worlds upon worlds bound by our own true belongings to each other as the one lineage of the generations of Mankind.

And fallen into the darkness of exile time, at the autumnal dusk of our faded Eden, at the great scattering of worlds, we were a togetherness never purposed to belong upon a realm intended to be as divided, dark and barren, as fallen, bitter and empty as these shattered skies fallen upon our world.

When we, as human beings, gaze out into the universe above and around ourselves, we must know in our heart of hearts that even in the midst of all this emptiness and longing for life, even in the embrace of all these questions sought here in the darkness of exile time, here at the great scattering of worlds, if we are to understand the order of the physical stars in those temporal heavens above and around our native of earth, from clusters to galaxies, from star to star, from worlds to their companion worlds, we can easily perceive in each native region of space what is reflected inwardly in our souls like a primordial longing bound in companionships.

For there is only a gathering sense of belonging in the all of visible creation and this sense of belonging, reflected by the physical order of even those shattered temporal skies that lay barren about our native of earth and amidst all of this exile darkness, is the one order that have endured and therefore, should be the one truth that must have always to prevail in the order of all of the visible universe.

For our one human habitation is not comprised of individual human beings ordered according to each individual self. Our one human habitation is ordered according to the connections that we serve with each other as individual human beings and those relationships borne in exile time and dimensional space that we in our shared humanity is purposed to serve with and for the all of sacred life that we must in our own particular belongings to each other responsibly carry out not as divided individuals but as united wholes.

Therefore, we must be able to perceive the reality of all of visible creation with an understanding that bring us closer to an understanding of what truth it reflects.

For our one human habitation reflects the truth about our own persons as human beings with and to each other - in God and Country, for God and Country.
---<--@

20090904c

These thoughts I collected 20090901:

Dear darlingest Miyang,

Bad Memories

Bad memories are like potholes along the road. We have to fill them up with the substance of good memories before we can enjoy a smooth ride again.

This is what happens to me when ever I take a fall and bad memories happen - things slow down, the damage occurs and I have to deal with the aftermath. Lust is an appetite and the more it is fed, the hungrier it gets. To get away from it, I have to have a smooth road.

When life gets bumpy, as it often times do, that's when the mettle of all true friendships are tested and as often as our friendships are tested, my loveliest love, is as often as I have found you. That's why your one of my bestest of friends.

It is always a joy to travel this road of life with you, my darlingest Annelies Marie.
---<--@

Today is also the birthday of one of my bestest of friends with you. Just to remind me to email my buddy.

And I also have to finish the other half of my laundry later. But for now, I need to rest and get some sleep under my belt.

I have an outstanding request from the Aid to the Church in Need which I have to attend to as well.
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090904b

These thoughts I collected 20090829:

Dear darlingest Miayng,

Adversity Tempering Hope

I fell again into drugs, its unwelcome company again found a way to obtain an entrance into my life. This addiction seem to cling on to me, thinking perhaps that I am still in love with its lie. But I am not, my love.

I know what it is by what it is not. And with every fall I observe it not by what it promises but by what promises it breaks. Everything it touches, it turns to dust. The more I understand it, the more I understand what it asks.

And these days, my love, it shall never have it. For unlike before, this addiction no longer possesses (or holds ransom) any part of my life's necessary pursuit of happiness. Neither does it have any more claim to my loyalty and my love.

I repent from the day I allowed this intruder in my life. So much of my life, my own weaknesses, and the lives of my own family and friends have suffered from its influence.

Yet through the influence of the same family and friends was my freedom restored to me and through the mercy of our LORD God, I now have a choice.

It was the ignorance of my youth that it chose to exploit. It shall never again find me there. For this addiction is a lie. Ask a lie about either truth or self and it knows neither. So it shall remain in ignorance.

But as my remembrance of the truth grows, I know my own hope is no longer a matter of how, but when.

I will press ahead toward a place it can never follow. I know where my heart belongs and it is not to this addiction.
---<--@

Change to Master Change

Change is the only certainty in the life of Man. Time is both a flow that grows outward from the heart as well as a motion that rises and falls in the now of each moment. The former is subjective and belongs only to each of our You and I with the LORD, our God and the latter is an objective medium of truth and belongs to the all of creation in relation with the all of creation and its one Creator.

Subjective time and physical time both constitute exile time which like the ebb and flow motion of the lunar tides, drive the ascendant motion of sacred life.

The experience of time, here in our human habitation with each other, is the experience of change. For just as in the eternity of our LORD God, all that is truth is immovable and unyielding in their perfection, here upon our human habitation, all that is truth is ever in motion.

Time is like a wild stallion. Before we can ride it, we must break it. This is just the same as it is to say all change is fleeting because we must first master change before we are able to use its strength to tame the unknown earth.

Time is not just a measure. Neither is time a distance from any two points in causality. Neither is time a space wherein the human heart may rely upon for remembrance.

Time is both an effect as well as an inclination. And we must understand time as it is for us to be able to apply ourselves to the labor of the times which the labor of restoring peace.

Time as an element of the physicality of the visible universe is no longer enough to satisfy the needs and requirements of our present reality. If we convince our hearts that time is just the mathematics of temporality, as we have done so in the last age, then things in temporality will begin to seem random and without order and our perception of history will soon begin to empty itself out of value and meaning.

But if we are mindful of the spirit within ourselves, we are wont to experience (or to want to experience), at any instant in our life, time as an inclination to hope. Those who are mindful of the truth of things unseen are also alive to the truth within themselves and so dwells with a kind of native spirituality upon the earth.

I shall define spirituality as an application of the truth of our inward experiences and if we have within ourselves a form of spirituality, it must also follow that we are observant of the motions of sacred life.

There are people who experience spirituality without having any formal grounding in religious truths for creation itself, being a thing of good, drives the spirit of Man. Therefore, the human experience of creation is a source of spirituality but one must be mindful also that in this world of probation there are things that are also unseen things, dark and false, which when applied to the spirit of the self, allows evil to enter into each our lives and war to deny the peace of our nations.

And for all the terrible wake of the past two thousand years, it is the common duty of all honorable religion to provide for our shared humanity, a safeguard against things false and dark and a safe harbor for the restless spirit of Man.

For religious truth is a revealed form of the eternal reality and so imparts permanence to our experience of time not by its understanding of the truths of our sciences but by its understanding of the existence that drive these truths.

All truths being ascendant in their motion are essentially a motion intended only for those purposes by which our Creator has intended our creation to fulfill which are always good. And so all religion universally believe in good things for if it were not so, time itself will rise against it.

Religion fosters spirituality but any religion without a form of spirituality is a sham. For the spirit is like water not because of any physical similarity but because of its motion in exile time. A religion that promises to obtain for any of us the world of material things without heed to the purposes through which the forbearance of our LORD has preserved this world is ignorant of its own sacred duty. Or worse, out to exploit the hope of the nameless masses and bring shame to the mantle of all honorable religion.

Man is ever beckoned by the questions that accompany each one of us in our heart of hearts for the labor to which the soul of Man is universally called is a yearning for the truth. If we do not ask the questions that make us human, it only means we are lost to the truth.

But what is the truth in this world, what is this yearning, what is the purpose of this yearning? How do we answer these questions? To validate our existence, all human beings, at one point in each our life, must seek to find what constantly beckons us to the truth.

The substance of truth is a spiritual reality and therefore, is constantly in motion. It fills our experience of reality that we may then call it with words apt to our understanding of its concreteness and form. A tree is only true when it is a tree not only in form but also in motion. A plastic tree is suspicious because it is not possessed of its own substance. For the soul of Man is universally literate as far as the substance of truth is concerned.

Therefore, there is no easy answer to the questions that we, as human beings, in the depths of our hearts are so inclined to ask in the silence of our souls, in the confidence of our most intimate of intimates, in the centers of our religions and in the councils of our shared humanity.

This wanting, yearning, seeking is a lineage and this lineage is the structure of all human hope. We ask because all human beings possess an in-built inclination to hope and to ignore this hope is to be ignorant of its reality.

Ignorance of hope inevitably leads to despair and despair is the common thread that bind together all things human that precipitates into division and armed conflict. And I should interject here that we are speaking specifically of failures that are distinctly human for the spirit of war is not human.

At the same time, we must also understand that the purpose of our nations is to prosper the peace and foster the hope that provides for the people. Therefore, if we are to address the prevailing lack that consume our nations, being mindful of the truth of these things, we are effectively building on the substance of the peace. For peace is the eternal purpose of our nations, it is the order by which we are expected to each endure the requirements of our human life and with each other prevail in the truth. And so if we place the anchors of our hopes on things that are enduring, we lay our claim to those promises that prevail not because its lineage is subject to any random chance but because its lineage leads us from truth to truth and strength to strength.

And so we have come full circle in our discussion and going back to our experience of time, specifically, exile time, if we are to be mindful of time, we will observe in our heart of hearts that time is more than its physical manifestation, in fact, time that is physical is always an effect. If we shall set our gaze upon physical time and think to change it, it is impossible because the time for change as regards to physical time is already passed.

There are those of us who seek change in this way by placing the locus of our will at some past time, thinking that there is a past time that exists, we anchor our hopes from desires that extend like a lineage backwards from the present now and away from the doors that open the way into future things yet unclaimed. But time does not exist to scatter nor does time exist to serve our lack of remembrance - physical time, that is. For by the time we arrive, if by physical time alone, we would have already determined the place.

What the future brings is never determined by our ignorance of the needs of the present time. And no future is writ in stone, it is always what our LORD intends, for the future is when we remember who we are, what we are, and why we are here for. Time that flows outward from our hearts is the reality that is promulgated from the Throne of our LORD in eternity, and the experience of time as a necessary spiritual reality not apart from but in consonant with physical time is both the reason as well as the validation to why time is both an effect as well as an inclination.

As light is both a particle and a wave, time is both a coming and a going, we build from the timeless, what in time shall add to the lineages of our nations as well as to the lineages of each our selves and both of them, if we are true, being a heritage of peace.

To master the ride, we must break the mindset that keeps us from being in the here and now. And then, to be able to use its strength and harness its will of change, we must become alive again to the truth that gives breath to each our human spirit, quickening the heart and making each our soul aware of itself for we are, as the timeless expression of the "you and I", what allow us - in the company of our friendships and in the company of our nations - to bring both permanence and light in a world that is very badly in need of both rest and repair.

So to change our world, we must change ourselves. And to be able to do so, especially as nations, there must be in our heart of hearts, a remembrance not only of ourselves but also of others as ourselves - not ruled by division but ordered by our belongings to each other. And if we remember our peace, we also remember our LORD God, because it is not through war that change is mastered, it is not through division that any of our hopes remain in their unbroken lineages, but only in the remembrance of the LORD and service to sacred life that the anchors of our individual as well as national longings for a necessary peace find again their native strength.

So many people dwell in tears because their hopes are left unrecognized, their needs unaddressed, their shared humanity unrealized, the damage of war more than what it takes from our belonging to each other, it is also prevalent in what it leaves in its collective wake, for the darkness of war is a spiritual malaise that bring division to the native unity of all of creation. For the mindset of war requires division but the understanding of peace tends towards unity in the truth.

It is strange that hope is a virtue that is specifically sent to bring forth in the darkness, from the understanding of our nations, the necessary unity of peace which is its purpose. To the individual, hope is an inclination towards peace and good will, to our nations, hope is an inclination towards remembrance - it conditions physical time by reminding the heart of Man to always be mindful of the truth of the human condition and its unchanging responsibilities.

Love is a motive, faith a strength, but hope is a becoming - it transforms us from one breath into one breathing together, it binds our nations together in authentic freedom, it allows us to bear together the requirements of our being human and in the midst of even the deepest of darkness, it keeps for our shared humanity, the light of peace that serves to kindle and rekindle our sacred remembrance.

Hope reminds us to be vigilant in our attitudes of prayer and to discern the seasons that guide the labors of our times.

Hope is a virtue whose particular commission is to dwell in the memory of Man, it is the longing that seeks, it is the questions that ask, it is the purpose that drives all things that fulfill us in the truth of ourselves. It is the virtue that guide the course of physical time. If we recognize what hope is and we anchor its longing on something good, then we will have gained the freedom to choose the outcomes before the outcomes are chosen for us. And if we remember the hopes of others, we become citizens to each other.

Some people who have mastered change in their lives have also mastered their hope. They hope not by believing in randomness and blind chance but by working out the paths that shall lead them toward those necessary graces that fulfill the promise its virtue in their lives.

But all people who master change are able to calm the storms of uncertainty in themselves and take charge of the vessel of their lives.

If we are no longer tossed by the random winds that flow from the fickle seasons of this world, knowing by a conviction in the heart, that all of these are but part of this world and therefore, just as ephemeral, then it only follows that the anchor that holds us fast against the storm must be just as unyielding in its strength as our trust in and determination of the reality of its truth.

Absolutely speaking, the motions of exile time is a washing away of the darkness and a shedding away of former things. All hopes have their fulfillment in the glory of God in the all in all of creation. So we must set aside a place in our hearts for these things, for even if there is weakness, it is not through weakness that we endure. We endure because there is hope and we come to strength because we have anchored our hopes on things that not only endure but prevail.
---<--@

Health Care

Of the three elements of Country, the nation, the state and the common market - only the nation and the state can be said to be humanly interested as well as politically invested in health care, respectively speaking.

In individual terms, health is a human good. But in terms of individual nations, health is a necessary good. Therefore, it is a prudent thing to make provisions for the maintenance of the public health in terms that serve both the individual as well as the national requirements. This is possible because both the individual as well as the national requirement for health care are in keeping with good and the common good.

The only difference is what is subject to necessity and what is subject to choice.

What must be avoided is to place health care in the scope of the common market. For the common market exists for material prosperity and is driven by needs that are often unfamiliar with the keeping of the other elements of Country. It is not that the common market is uncaring of the needs of our being human. It is because it is imbued with a different aspect of our common labors of Country. What it seeks to preserve and what it is meant to advance are temporal as well as material goods and it provides for these needs. Even its failings are an accurate reflection of what the common market is as a distinct element apart from the nation and the state.

The maintenance of health is not a product nor is health an outcome of market processes. Therefore, as regards to health care as a human need, the common market responds differently at best. And at worst, it responds not at all.

Health is a responsibility. It is for the individual, a free and human choice and for the responsible state, something from a public good when it is considered as a civic duty to a national right when it is effected through legislative action.

Health is like taxes, only we pay it as a condition of our being human. Therefore, just as in the sharing of the tax burden, it is the sharing itself that is the duty of every citizen, so it is with health care, the extension of our belonging to each other.

As regards to health care, what is necessary is for everybody and this must be adequately interpreted by the state and what is made available for the exercise of free and human choice must be the responsibility of those who are willing and able to exercise it.

The state and the nation should be in agreement as regards to how to align the good with the common good and this agreement should form the basis of any dealings with the common market which will also be necessary but only as a supplier and/or as a provider in terms of employee benefits and not as a part of the health care system. It will be regulated and preserved by the state, utilized, sustained and governed by the nation and supported by the enterprise economy of the free market (the common market). It is neither public nor private - the effect is a national cooperative system of health care. All sectors stand to benefit from it by doing what each does best.

It is the expectation in Miyangerjia, at the very least, that health care is never to be perceived as a burden because it is a burden that is shared by the community and is therefore, no longer a burden but a civic duty.
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Auxiliary Forces

The paradigm of the peace requires us to rethink the nature of auxiliary forces. And by auxiliary forces, I mean to say, non-native troops.

There are central forces and there are local forces and none of these are auxiliary for all are native troops. And both of these belong to the national military forces.

Absolutely speaking, given the nature of the present times, all human forces are native forces.
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Lesson Learned 20090829

So there I was, my darling, getting ready for work Friday night. I've purged myself of that urge somehow by keeping my focus on those things I know I care more and love more about than demon drugs - like God, true self, friends, friendships and good work. There is confusion in my life but my hopes for my own life as well as that of our nations and all those that we love are anchored on those things - our hopes for peace. My own recovery and my own labors in this life are intertwined like you and I are in our love. So to apply myself to these things, I must be true to these things.

I used to placate the presence of demon drugs so close to my own life by paying it off. And then it sucked me in. You give sin a toehold, it takes over your whole life. And its your fault. So I set expectations straight - lest my own hypocrisy deny me what hope I desire for my own life, my love - I will neither abuse nor will I tolerate it in other people.

But I also do not want to be lied to as well. And I did not expect this lie to come from somewhere so close to home. Its so frustrating but I have thought about it and when and if it shall happen again, I will restrict it as much as I could but I shall never again be so frustrated as to allow my own hurt to collapse my commitments to the truth.

I work hard for my money, my darlingest, and I will not allow my own wages to feed into the false economies of false things that I know contribute to the suffering of millions. It is a difficult balance but one I must keep for now until such a time as I am able to move out and find a place of my own. To do this I must concentrate on my work and my recovery.
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing

20090904a

Sorry, my darlingest, things are just really difficult here where I am right now, but I am still writing about the things we are most concerned about - including the progress of my own life. I just need to review some of those entries as well as put down some new ideas. There thoughts I collected 20090827:

Dear darlingest Miyang,

Copenhagen and Biking

I just saw a report on the Big Boss Cat (the BBC) about the City of Copenhagen being the most bicycle friendly city in Europe. I feel so glad for Copenhagen and Sweden, too!

I personally have always like biking and I know of more than a few closest of friends as well as family who loves to bike. I know you yourself love to bike. And Margot, too. And you know, speaking of Sweden reminds me of that cute little line from the movie "Hey, Hey its Esther Blueburger, 'Swedish?'"

All of these are indeed good reasons to applaud Copenhagen and by extension Sweden, of course, for this fact. But we do have deeper and more profound reasons also to be advocates of the same with Copenhagen.

For when it comes to saving our environment - it takes much to reap much. When it comes to global warming, baby steps do not count, my love. Odd but true.

And so let me tell you this, my loveliest love, our fair Miyangersjia is 100% with Copenhagen on this - the planning and the designs of our roads and highways will and must incorporate not just motor traffic but biking, pedestrian (jogging) as well as efficient mass transportation lanes.

We are but one planet so none of us could truly ever claim to have one feet on the issue and the other one where exactly? For the good sake of our earth, we all must be in it to win it. And if we can not do it by nations, Miyang, we will do it by cities and believe together that if we build it, the day will come that we shall achieve it and the rest will follow.

This initiative must and will mesh with all the other green initiatives within our fair Miyangersjia like wind energy, proper public education, public ownership and responsible citizenry, waste recycling, our market triangle application that seeks to maintain an agrarian base and the principles of our City Charter itself all must come together in the individual citizen to help us together build a shelter of community that shall not only endure but prevail for our shared humanity till the Last Day.

Pornography

I remember a time when I kept my own secret stash of porn. I call those times those "times of shame". I also remember how the addiction fought against me when time came and the LORD asked me to destroy them all. It occurred to me that I bought it with my own money, it occurred to me that to be efficient I should keep them or at least give them to my friends but all of those avenues were evil and evil begot. Now, I never keep secret stashes of poison porn.

While there are times when I still do fall into temptation as regards to pornography, those times I have further succeeded in limiting only to when my will is weakened by drug abuse. And on the highway of my life, here on our eastward travels together on the Main Meow Meow, my dear beloved Purrrincess Meowrrrja Meowrrrj, drugs are due to take the next exit into the void of oblivion.

I said no to both poison porn and demon drugs at their very roots - irrevocably and absolutely. Of course, God had to break my stupid pride before all of that and this was the difficult part. For as I humbly accepted to the LORD that these things are a lie and that my God alone is the truth it was then that the LORD, our God, turned me over each new leaf and I have been shedding all of my old autumnal foliage ever since. And you know what the very best part of the story is, he gave me you and I was never, ever the same, my Miyang, for nowadays it seems, I am the ball, you are the bounce.

There were times when the external times of the day ruled my life and the clock of my addiction ran with the tides and the times of the earth and the moon. There was a time in my life when it was easier to flee into the arms of falseness and vanity when under the cover of the physical darkness of the night or when an alibi presented itself to my sin ever like the serpent presented itself to our first parents.

But it seems - bless the LORD - those times are waning in my life, my love. For nowadays, my darling, when it might seem to the untrained heart like night out here in the world, in the universe within my soul, it is always noontime because I am here, trying - striving - to be always to always present to where neither secret nor division can be kept from the glorious golden gaze of the one Daystar Sun of my life, Who is the One Almighty, our LORD God. Away from Here I have no belonging, my darlingest, because away from here is away from you and away from you, my love, is away from the all of you.

And that thinking I once shared with other suffering porn addicts, at least those single ones, that marriage to a purty cat can be a remedy to poison porn, that won't work either. For this line of thinking is nothing but another invitation into a whole new chapter of disillusionment and hurt but this time wreaked upon the lives of more than just one person, my darlingest dear, instead of just the one suffering addict.

The roots of porn is not corporeal, this poison is - like the darkness of our world of this present time - a spiritual malaise. And all things spiritual have their battles fought and won (and lost) in the heart of the person who our LORD calls individually by our name into battle against the evils within him or herself.

And so I do not see now how marriage to a purty cat can help any suffering addict if the very locus of our will to prevail against evil is not within ourselves. If we consider marriage or the "other" to be our way out instead of our own person, we only invite others into our selfish nightmare.

There is a way to effect change and it is just like what Gandhi said, by being the change we want to see in the world. And we must learn to do this change not for self but for the beloved of the self - the "you and I" - for the motions of this change, if it were truly intended for the good, is both shaped and directed by everliving love between the you and the I.

Knowing now what I understand in my heart of hearts, you can also now understand and appreciate with me why those times were "times of shame", my Miyang. And why keeping close to you, my love, you serve to guard my soul. I love you so much.
---<--@

It is through understanding that knowledge is learned but it is only through loving that understanding is begot. Knowing the way is not the same as getting there. So always lead with your mind but think with your heart.
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[... Our trainer at work is like a mama cat. Well, to my own "wave" at least, my darlingest, which is what all training classes are called over there at my job.

This mama cat impression is the impression that I get of her image in my soul. Its hard to explain but a mama cat image is a pretty darn good image to have. Even when she says please, its so irresistible because she's a mama cat.

Now, the world might understandably complain that it's not a sexy or a glamorous image but I am not referring to vanity here. These impressions that I speak of is sort of like a snapshot of a person's capacity to apply the self to what the heart have come to know and to love and as my own heart is convinced that this cat, our trainer, does love her own like her own that is what I perceived her as - a mama cat.

Our other trainer is different. She appears to me as a mentor cat and her kind of nurturing is the kind that molds the mold of knowledge that it may be correctly applied.

You see wisdom is never taught but is imparted in the moment from life to life.

Knowledge uses a bridge of words, numerals and concepts but wisdom can only be instantaneously understood in the moment. This is why good teachers teach us more by who they are than by what they teach.

All of these, my darling - the mama cat image, the mentor cat image - peculiar though these things are to my perspective in life with you, are nevertheless all universal aspects of that one and the same love that imparts life to all of our living - together. ...]
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing