20090215

Dear darlingest Miyang Marie,

It's the day after Valentine's day, my love, and it's a relief for some people. My best buddy from the Bay Area says that he was "hiding away" yesterday. You see, we're both single, my darlingest, but the difference is that I do not feel the slightest need to "hide away" - both my single status or from women who are also single. Why should I be ashamed of being single, my love? I do not follow the fickle standards and the fleeting fashions of this world. Why should I be afraid to love when that's what this life is all about? And finally, why should I run away from true hearts who desire to relate with my own heart - either in holy friendships or in holy matrimony - when upon this depends the completion of the purpose for which God has allowed me to be born to this world? No, love is not a thing to hide away from nor does its perceived lack in one's life a reason for anybody to become bitter about it. Love Itself is the Lover - and were people to try and realize this in their lives, they would understand, God-willing, what St. Valentine's day is all about. And far from the day after this day becoming a relief to some, it would be a blessing to all.

St. Valentine's is not about carnal love by itself alone. This is the thing with the world nowadays, my darlingest, people associate love with lust to the point when not a lot of us can tell them apart anymore. The plunging moral standards of this world have caused so many to suffer even more, the pains of the life we have to live. And when one thinks about all of this even more, yesterday is one of those days when the numerous symptoms that indicate the approach of calamity for our poor world converge into one undeniable reality - that so much of this poor world has forgotten about our LORD and His ways.

The deadly vices of avarice, greed, covetousness, anger, pride, gluttony as well as lust seem to dominate the landscape of so much human souls that not only has virtue and the art of its grace become almost entirely unknown but the reality of our present times itself as a whole seems to constantly seek to make bitter war against the one Divine Will and this is what I refer to, my dear darlingest Miyang Marie, as the beast of war. And my hatred with All of you of this beast is such that if it only had you, my lovingest love, for its victim, I could not burn any more intense than I am now, in my heart. But this beast has had innumerable other victims and none of them, I promise you, shall remain forgot - such is the will that lives in me, my love, that many times, I am tempted to surrender to the lie that makes me what I am not. For many times, I do not know what I am and yet when I think about my innumerable sins, thinking of where my God is leading me causes me to tremble with fear and shakes my faith to the very foundation - for even though I can not see far enough to know the way, I know with a knowing that penetrates the very fibers of my being that I am utterly not worthy of this way. Indeed, the song "Who Am I" by the Casting Crowns is fast becoming another song of choice for me.

We're going to my uncle's burial today, my dear darlingest. And I also need to help my mom with the things she wants to get from our local market. I have other things I want to write but they will have to wait and I shall have to be patient.

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing