20090130

Dear Darlingest Miyang Marie,

Just to prove to you that I know about cats, my darlingest, I have prepared for you:

CAT CULTURE 101

I. Knowledge of Meows

The Silent Meow
The 5 Cent Meow
The 5 Dollar Meow
The 100 Dollar Meow or the I-Love-me-Benjamins Meow (for them high-society, high maintenance cats)
The I-Trying-to-Say-Your-Name Meow
The I-Don't-Care Meow
The Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow
The Hurt Meow
The Right-Now Meow
The I-Need-You Meow
The As-a-Matter-of-Fact Meow
The Unsure Meow
The Tentative Meow
The Rainmaker
The Karaoke Breaker
The Typhoon Summoner
The Me?-How? (the meow we kept asking each other in the beginning)
The Mrow (your cute, hurt meow)
The Miyaw (the Filipino meow - the root word of your name, my darlingest Miyang)
The Miao (the Asian meow)

II. Knowledge of Pointy-Cat-Ear Communication

The I-Don't-Give-a-Damn, One-Ear Flick
The Two Ear, Swept-Wing, You-Creep-Me-Out Bye-Bye
The I-Don't-Care-Just-Keep-on-Talking, One-Ear, Alternating Motion Mental Dismiss
The Two Ear, Swept-Wing, I'm-Warning-You Hiss
The Two Ear, Swept-Wing, I-so-Embarrassed-with-You Look

III. Knowledge of Tail Swishes

The Careful-Careful Swish
The Who-You Swish
The I-so-Bored Tail Tap
The I-so-Excited Tail Tap

IV. Knowledge of Purrs, Claws, Fangs and Paws

The Hello There Intro Sniff
The Hell-Bent-on-Something-Something
The Hoity-toity, I-Own-You Aura
The I-so-Cute Look
The I-so-Satisfied-with-Me-Self Purr
The Stop-Rubbing-Me-I-Ain't-No-Lamp Look
The Rub-my-Tummy Claw Trap
The Thirteen Stripe All-American Swipe (a Sunbeams special)
The Whiskas Look
The Four-Paw Dropkick
The Oh-Did-I-Just-Do-That, Pants-Penetrating Two-Paw, Claw Grip
The Needy Kneading
The Crazies

V. Knowledge of the Combined Art of Cat Communication

The Miraculous I Love You - the silent Cor ad Cor Loquitur - something we cats know without need for communication.
---<--@

...

Always to always,

Pusing