20090824d

To my Miyang -

I took a path for a promise made - Restore peace to our world - to the Middle East, to my own Filipino nation. But I was by the spirit of war deceived. It never intended to give me back my own peace. The voices in my head only intended to exploit my weakness and rob my own nation of our common heritage with the one family of the nations of Mankind. It never sought to recognize my humanity nor my hope, nor my love, nor those who love me - it placed me in an impossible position.

It sought to make of me a thing of division which is exactly what I am not. How can I ever build upon a lie?

If you want to know me - I am a human being and a citizen of my one Republic. I am not a number. Nor am I nameless to my friends. I have a name.

And the outcome that I am working to provide for my nation is peace.

I do not know if these voices are real or not, my darlingest dear. If they were real, they can only be one of two things - one that gathers with us in which case, they keep to their promises or one that scatters against us in which case, they are empty of promises.

I would give everything to see my people free and to keep to the remembrance of our heroes.

But how can something so hostile to my existence, completely wretched though I may be, ever be benign? Am I not one of those who are of the people? If it is capable of trampling my natural rights as a citizen and a human being, it is capable of doing the same to any human being. How can such a spirit restore peace to my nation or think about doing the same to the larger family of nations?

I do not know how long my life will last, my loveliest love, nor if these voices in my head will ever go away, but amidst all of this darkness and confusion, one thing always manages to lead me back to sanity, and that is my remembrance of you.

And so I want you to know these things, that you may know I never do anything from motives other than good things, that I am not a creature animated by hate.

And that, at the end of my life, I want to be buried with you in Bergen Belsen, my loveliest love.

I do not know what this life may bring but I will carry on as far as I freely and humanly could, the labors of our hopes together, my loveliest Miyang, all towards a better world for all men, women and children of the one family of the nations of Mankind.
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