20090904b

These thoughts I collected 20090829:

Dear darlingest Miayng,

Adversity Tempering Hope

I fell again into drugs, its unwelcome company again found a way to obtain an entrance into my life. This addiction seem to cling on to me, thinking perhaps that I am still in love with its lie. But I am not, my love.

I know what it is by what it is not. And with every fall I observe it not by what it promises but by what promises it breaks. Everything it touches, it turns to dust. The more I understand it, the more I understand what it asks.

And these days, my love, it shall never have it. For unlike before, this addiction no longer possesses (or holds ransom) any part of my life's necessary pursuit of happiness. Neither does it have any more claim to my loyalty and my love.

I repent from the day I allowed this intruder in my life. So much of my life, my own weaknesses, and the lives of my own family and friends have suffered from its influence.

Yet through the influence of the same family and friends was my freedom restored to me and through the mercy of our LORD God, I now have a choice.

It was the ignorance of my youth that it chose to exploit. It shall never again find me there. For this addiction is a lie. Ask a lie about either truth or self and it knows neither. So it shall remain in ignorance.

But as my remembrance of the truth grows, I know my own hope is no longer a matter of how, but when.

I will press ahead toward a place it can never follow. I know where my heart belongs and it is not to this addiction.
---<--@

Change to Master Change

Change is the only certainty in the life of Man. Time is both a flow that grows outward from the heart as well as a motion that rises and falls in the now of each moment. The former is subjective and belongs only to each of our You and I with the LORD, our God and the latter is an objective medium of truth and belongs to the all of creation in relation with the all of creation and its one Creator.

Subjective time and physical time both constitute exile time which like the ebb and flow motion of the lunar tides, drive the ascendant motion of sacred life.

The experience of time, here in our human habitation with each other, is the experience of change. For just as in the eternity of our LORD God, all that is truth is immovable and unyielding in their perfection, here upon our human habitation, all that is truth is ever in motion.

Time is like a wild stallion. Before we can ride it, we must break it. This is just the same as it is to say all change is fleeting because we must first master change before we are able to use its strength to tame the unknown earth.

Time is not just a measure. Neither is time a distance from any two points in causality. Neither is time a space wherein the human heart may rely upon for remembrance.

Time is both an effect as well as an inclination. And we must understand time as it is for us to be able to apply ourselves to the labor of the times which the labor of restoring peace.

Time as an element of the physicality of the visible universe is no longer enough to satisfy the needs and requirements of our present reality. If we convince our hearts that time is just the mathematics of temporality, as we have done so in the last age, then things in temporality will begin to seem random and without order and our perception of history will soon begin to empty itself out of value and meaning.

But if we are mindful of the spirit within ourselves, we are wont to experience (or to want to experience), at any instant in our life, time as an inclination to hope. Those who are mindful of the truth of things unseen are also alive to the truth within themselves and so dwells with a kind of native spirituality upon the earth.

I shall define spirituality as an application of the truth of our inward experiences and if we have within ourselves a form of spirituality, it must also follow that we are observant of the motions of sacred life.

There are people who experience spirituality without having any formal grounding in religious truths for creation itself, being a thing of good, drives the spirit of Man. Therefore, the human experience of creation is a source of spirituality but one must be mindful also that in this world of probation there are things that are also unseen things, dark and false, which when applied to the spirit of the self, allows evil to enter into each our lives and war to deny the peace of our nations.

And for all the terrible wake of the past two thousand years, it is the common duty of all honorable religion to provide for our shared humanity, a safeguard against things false and dark and a safe harbor for the restless spirit of Man.

For religious truth is a revealed form of the eternal reality and so imparts permanence to our experience of time not by its understanding of the truths of our sciences but by its understanding of the existence that drive these truths.

All truths being ascendant in their motion are essentially a motion intended only for those purposes by which our Creator has intended our creation to fulfill which are always good. And so all religion universally believe in good things for if it were not so, time itself will rise against it.

Religion fosters spirituality but any religion without a form of spirituality is a sham. For the spirit is like water not because of any physical similarity but because of its motion in exile time. A religion that promises to obtain for any of us the world of material things without heed to the purposes through which the forbearance of our LORD has preserved this world is ignorant of its own sacred duty. Or worse, out to exploit the hope of the nameless masses and bring shame to the mantle of all honorable religion.

Man is ever beckoned by the questions that accompany each one of us in our heart of hearts for the labor to which the soul of Man is universally called is a yearning for the truth. If we do not ask the questions that make us human, it only means we are lost to the truth.

But what is the truth in this world, what is this yearning, what is the purpose of this yearning? How do we answer these questions? To validate our existence, all human beings, at one point in each our life, must seek to find what constantly beckons us to the truth.

The substance of truth is a spiritual reality and therefore, is constantly in motion. It fills our experience of reality that we may then call it with words apt to our understanding of its concreteness and form. A tree is only true when it is a tree not only in form but also in motion. A plastic tree is suspicious because it is not possessed of its own substance. For the soul of Man is universally literate as far as the substance of truth is concerned.

Therefore, there is no easy answer to the questions that we, as human beings, in the depths of our hearts are so inclined to ask in the silence of our souls, in the confidence of our most intimate of intimates, in the centers of our religions and in the councils of our shared humanity.

This wanting, yearning, seeking is a lineage and this lineage is the structure of all human hope. We ask because all human beings possess an in-built inclination to hope and to ignore this hope is to be ignorant of its reality.

Ignorance of hope inevitably leads to despair and despair is the common thread that bind together all things human that precipitates into division and armed conflict. And I should interject here that we are speaking specifically of failures that are distinctly human for the spirit of war is not human.

At the same time, we must also understand that the purpose of our nations is to prosper the peace and foster the hope that provides for the people. Therefore, if we are to address the prevailing lack that consume our nations, being mindful of the truth of these things, we are effectively building on the substance of the peace. For peace is the eternal purpose of our nations, it is the order by which we are expected to each endure the requirements of our human life and with each other prevail in the truth. And so if we place the anchors of our hopes on things that are enduring, we lay our claim to those promises that prevail not because its lineage is subject to any random chance but because its lineage leads us from truth to truth and strength to strength.

And so we have come full circle in our discussion and going back to our experience of time, specifically, exile time, if we are to be mindful of time, we will observe in our heart of hearts that time is more than its physical manifestation, in fact, time that is physical is always an effect. If we shall set our gaze upon physical time and think to change it, it is impossible because the time for change as regards to physical time is already passed.

There are those of us who seek change in this way by placing the locus of our will at some past time, thinking that there is a past time that exists, we anchor our hopes from desires that extend like a lineage backwards from the present now and away from the doors that open the way into future things yet unclaimed. But time does not exist to scatter nor does time exist to serve our lack of remembrance - physical time, that is. For by the time we arrive, if by physical time alone, we would have already determined the place.

What the future brings is never determined by our ignorance of the needs of the present time. And no future is writ in stone, it is always what our LORD intends, for the future is when we remember who we are, what we are, and why we are here for. Time that flows outward from our hearts is the reality that is promulgated from the Throne of our LORD in eternity, and the experience of time as a necessary spiritual reality not apart from but in consonant with physical time is both the reason as well as the validation to why time is both an effect as well as an inclination.

As light is both a particle and a wave, time is both a coming and a going, we build from the timeless, what in time shall add to the lineages of our nations as well as to the lineages of each our selves and both of them, if we are true, being a heritage of peace.

To master the ride, we must break the mindset that keeps us from being in the here and now. And then, to be able to use its strength and harness its will of change, we must become alive again to the truth that gives breath to each our human spirit, quickening the heart and making each our soul aware of itself for we are, as the timeless expression of the "you and I", what allow us - in the company of our friendships and in the company of our nations - to bring both permanence and light in a world that is very badly in need of both rest and repair.

So to change our world, we must change ourselves. And to be able to do so, especially as nations, there must be in our heart of hearts, a remembrance not only of ourselves but also of others as ourselves - not ruled by division but ordered by our belongings to each other. And if we remember our peace, we also remember our LORD God, because it is not through war that change is mastered, it is not through division that any of our hopes remain in their unbroken lineages, but only in the remembrance of the LORD and service to sacred life that the anchors of our individual as well as national longings for a necessary peace find again their native strength.

So many people dwell in tears because their hopes are left unrecognized, their needs unaddressed, their shared humanity unrealized, the damage of war more than what it takes from our belonging to each other, it is also prevalent in what it leaves in its collective wake, for the darkness of war is a spiritual malaise that bring division to the native unity of all of creation. For the mindset of war requires division but the understanding of peace tends towards unity in the truth.

It is strange that hope is a virtue that is specifically sent to bring forth in the darkness, from the understanding of our nations, the necessary unity of peace which is its purpose. To the individual, hope is an inclination towards peace and good will, to our nations, hope is an inclination towards remembrance - it conditions physical time by reminding the heart of Man to always be mindful of the truth of the human condition and its unchanging responsibilities.

Love is a motive, faith a strength, but hope is a becoming - it transforms us from one breath into one breathing together, it binds our nations together in authentic freedom, it allows us to bear together the requirements of our being human and in the midst of even the deepest of darkness, it keeps for our shared humanity, the light of peace that serves to kindle and rekindle our sacred remembrance.

Hope reminds us to be vigilant in our attitudes of prayer and to discern the seasons that guide the labors of our times.

Hope is a virtue whose particular commission is to dwell in the memory of Man, it is the longing that seeks, it is the questions that ask, it is the purpose that drives all things that fulfill us in the truth of ourselves. It is the virtue that guide the course of physical time. If we recognize what hope is and we anchor its longing on something good, then we will have gained the freedom to choose the outcomes before the outcomes are chosen for us. And if we remember the hopes of others, we become citizens to each other.

Some people who have mastered change in their lives have also mastered their hope. They hope not by believing in randomness and blind chance but by working out the paths that shall lead them toward those necessary graces that fulfill the promise its virtue in their lives.

But all people who master change are able to calm the storms of uncertainty in themselves and take charge of the vessel of their lives.

If we are no longer tossed by the random winds that flow from the fickle seasons of this world, knowing by a conviction in the heart, that all of these are but part of this world and therefore, just as ephemeral, then it only follows that the anchor that holds us fast against the storm must be just as unyielding in its strength as our trust in and determination of the reality of its truth.

Absolutely speaking, the motions of exile time is a washing away of the darkness and a shedding away of former things. All hopes have their fulfillment in the glory of God in the all in all of creation. So we must set aside a place in our hearts for these things, for even if there is weakness, it is not through weakness that we endure. We endure because there is hope and we come to strength because we have anchored our hopes on things that not only endure but prevail.
---<--@

Health Care

Of the three elements of Country, the nation, the state and the common market - only the nation and the state can be said to be humanly interested as well as politically invested in health care, respectively speaking.

In individual terms, health is a human good. But in terms of individual nations, health is a necessary good. Therefore, it is a prudent thing to make provisions for the maintenance of the public health in terms that serve both the individual as well as the national requirements. This is possible because both the individual as well as the national requirement for health care are in keeping with good and the common good.

The only difference is what is subject to necessity and what is subject to choice.

What must be avoided is to place health care in the scope of the common market. For the common market exists for material prosperity and is driven by needs that are often unfamiliar with the keeping of the other elements of Country. It is not that the common market is uncaring of the needs of our being human. It is because it is imbued with a different aspect of our common labors of Country. What it seeks to preserve and what it is meant to advance are temporal as well as material goods and it provides for these needs. Even its failings are an accurate reflection of what the common market is as a distinct element apart from the nation and the state.

The maintenance of health is not a product nor is health an outcome of market processes. Therefore, as regards to health care as a human need, the common market responds differently at best. And at worst, it responds not at all.

Health is a responsibility. It is for the individual, a free and human choice and for the responsible state, something from a public good when it is considered as a civic duty to a national right when it is effected through legislative action.

Health is like taxes, only we pay it as a condition of our being human. Therefore, just as in the sharing of the tax burden, it is the sharing itself that is the duty of every citizen, so it is with health care, the extension of our belonging to each other.

As regards to health care, what is necessary is for everybody and this must be adequately interpreted by the state and what is made available for the exercise of free and human choice must be the responsibility of those who are willing and able to exercise it.

The state and the nation should be in agreement as regards to how to align the good with the common good and this agreement should form the basis of any dealings with the common market which will also be necessary but only as a supplier and/or as a provider in terms of employee benefits and not as a part of the health care system. It will be regulated and preserved by the state, utilized, sustained and governed by the nation and supported by the enterprise economy of the free market (the common market). It is neither public nor private - the effect is a national cooperative system of health care. All sectors stand to benefit from it by doing what each does best.

It is the expectation in Miyangerjia, at the very least, that health care is never to be perceived as a burden because it is a burden that is shared by the community and is therefore, no longer a burden but a civic duty.
---<--@

Auxiliary Forces

The paradigm of the peace requires us to rethink the nature of auxiliary forces. And by auxiliary forces, I mean to say, non-native troops.

There are central forces and there are local forces and none of these are auxiliary for all are native troops. And both of these belong to the national military forces.

Absolutely speaking, given the nature of the present times, all human forces are native forces.
---<--@

Lesson Learned 20090829

So there I was, my darling, getting ready for work Friday night. I've purged myself of that urge somehow by keeping my focus on those things I know I care more and love more about than demon drugs - like God, true self, friends, friendships and good work. There is confusion in my life but my hopes for my own life as well as that of our nations and all those that we love are anchored on those things - our hopes for peace. My own recovery and my own labors in this life are intertwined like you and I are in our love. So to apply myself to these things, I must be true to these things.

I used to placate the presence of demon drugs so close to my own life by paying it off. And then it sucked me in. You give sin a toehold, it takes over your whole life. And its your fault. So I set expectations straight - lest my own hypocrisy deny me what hope I desire for my own life, my love - I will neither abuse nor will I tolerate it in other people.

But I also do not want to be lied to as well. And I did not expect this lie to come from somewhere so close to home. Its so frustrating but I have thought about it and when and if it shall happen again, I will restrict it as much as I could but I shall never again be so frustrated as to allow my own hurt to collapse my commitments to the truth.

I work hard for my money, my darlingest, and I will not allow my own wages to feed into the false economies of false things that I know contribute to the suffering of millions. It is a difficult balance but one I must keep for now until such a time as I am able to move out and find a place of my own. To do this I must concentrate on my work and my recovery.
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

Pusing