20081209

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

O my darlingest, I know you're terribly upset with me. Why? Because yesterday evening when I reached out to your heart, what clear and welcoming sweetness that I feel, that near, almost visible smiling, cheerful, steadfast Miyang that I have for the longest time been so used to embracing in my soul was not there - what was there was an emptiness that made me so afraid and what my soul beheld were those images of you as you were suffering the horrors of Auschwitz, you without your starlight smile, you without your beautiful, flowing, summer hair, you with your scabies, your sores and your rashes, and at Bergen-Belsen, you emaciated, hollow, weeping, dirty, starving, sunken and dying of typhus. It immediately brought me to tears. I have never been more afraid in my life, my darlingest, I can not lose you, my darlingest - or, to be more exact, I can not be lost to you. But last night, on my way to work, it was explained to my heart what needs to be done - AND I WILL DO IT - and we shall in God's own time, be together, my darlingest, at the beginning of all things new. All things work out for the good for those who love and fear the LORD. I am not allowed to write more than this, my darlingest, for it becomes too personal to let anyone else outside my soul to know but I know now how much you love me - how much you All love me, how much my LORD loves me.

Right now, I am working, with God's grace, on my focus. I love you, my darlingest, Yang-yang Marie, I love you so much.

Always to always,

Pusing