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Darlingest Miyang,

I don't understand anymore, why at times, I am unable to be consistently happy, far away from the temptations of those things that cause me much anguish. It does not take much to make me happy, only the knowledge that I can stand with you and not be ashamed of myself; that I can pray to our LORD without withering at the thought of things I have done. I do know that the mercy of God is boundless, my darlingest, but limited is the time I have to work for His delight and I must not consume all of my days without bearing for my Lord the fruits of my repentance.

I do what I can but, my darlingest, important to me as well is my interior belongings with all of you and I would that I shall one day have them both. I work for the hope that I have that I know was given me because my own hopes have long ago failed me. The hope of peace in our times and the hope of my own soul are two different things that converge into all the things that I love in God, as you, my darlingest and this love is quite near, so near that for me to go far away does not mean I have to travel, it does not have to be a place, my darlingest, it can also be a time, a moment, a moment spent with you and with all those angels and saints who are particular to me, my Mama Mary, my Lord, Jesus and all of you. There are a lot of good people here in our world, my darlingest, it is also for them that I shall persist and from all this good, I draw solace. In evil times, it is a light to me. And my darlingest, I need it. When answers escape me, the answers are all of you. My own problems seem a trifle when I look to the virtue of others for I know the Intention that have placed that grace into their hearts and this Intention is what connects us.

And so today, my darlingest, I shall be content with the thought that for as long as I hope, we are connected, for as long as I dream good dreams, even in these times when I fall into those familiar sins, for as long as I accept my lack, I shall remain absolutely repentant and unwilling to accept that these sins shall defeat me, my darlingest.

My Lord Christ knows in His heart my anguish and I know that He shall one day break these cycles and so what I must never do is to lose hope, and I am indeed, blessed with much help in this regard, you alone, my darlingest - though I wish sometimes I could text you and you'd text me back - profoundly affects me. But I would that I would soon be able to master the in the moment of temptation this hope that it may become for me a way out instead of a way back.

I love you, my darlingest Annelies Marie.
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Always to always,

Pusing