20100810

Dear darlingest Annelies Marie,

Good morning, my darling Miyang.

August is a really pretty month, my love. Its interior landscape in terms of liturgical reflection is very edifying. The feasts of the Transfiguration and the Assumption both fall within this month as well as the feast day of Saint Maximilian Kolbe, my beloved patron. Also, today is the feast day of Saint Lawrence the deacon, another one of the principal Saints in my little life, my love.

Next month, on September 8, is birthday of our Lady, the Blessed Virgin Mary, Queen of my heart and my Mother with Christ. These particular days are very important to me, my darling.

In terms of my recovery, these are those "safe" days that along with all our other special days, personal, liturgical or patriotic, help me to move my days along from hope to hope and strength to strength - from feast to feast, as my Holy Mother Church would put it. And everything here is centered, founded and finds their culmination, of course, in the celebration of the Mass that if we Christians were a breathing together form the beginning and the end of each breath.

Latria

For it is in Holy Mass that we are through Jesus Christ, as faithful and obedient children of the Father, constantly renewed by the Holy Spirit and constantly sent out by token of that same Spirit to renew the world around our selves, one would think that the Saints, above all the Holy Mother of God, who along with the Holy Angels are intimately entrusted also with each our spiritual welfare would encourage us - as far as it is freely possible for them - to come to this Holy Banquet and not just on Sundays.

One would think that all our Saints would, as God wills it, seek to add their voices to the chorale of the Angels that in the quiet of our hearts constantly invite each of us to come to this most excellent and most efficacious of prayers and join the whole community of the Church in assaulting the Throne of the LORD with much love and song.

But in the darkness, this is not always so - or at least it is made to appear that way, but not by any of those whose hearts are called to God. Some love the Saints not with the love of God but with the love of the self and this is sad. That they would rather believe in their own empty creations, be it made in the appearance of popular piety, than come with nothing but a calm sense of expectant joy to that great and happy Feast of their one and only Creator; to this celebration pregnant with wonder and hope; a commemoration of the greatest love of all.

Granted each of us are come to season in each our own time, but for each of us whose hearts are awakened to an abiding love of the truth that Jesus Christ is Lord, let us know - here and now - with conviction of faith in our hearts that from behind mere accidents of bread and wine, He peers at us and He sees our world so needful of His Love, His True Light: Like a great and eternal Star, Jesus Christ who is Emmanuel shines out to us in the Eucharist and in His Love He illuminates our need, the depths of it, because, O little flock, it is precisely this sense of a great and profound need that will fill us with the Bread of Angels and grant for our hearts that peace that this world could never even dream of giving us.

So banish the darkness, let us come to Mass! Let us work, work, work to understand it, know it, love it, and live it.

Later on today, I shall work on the revision of our Rosary of Hope the purpose of which is to bring into the realization of the Now, the needs that require us to be individually strong in the exercise of Christian charity.

---<--@

Hello, my Anne, I'm back. It's about 4:15 PM, my love -

Our Rosary of Hope

When I posted this prayer on All to my All, my darling, I was still desperately in the midst of my active addiction. I was in the thick of it. I was caught up in those cycles of insanity that all of us addicts suffer from; an all too familiar pain, my Miyang, that were it not for the pain that God in His mercy felt for me would have served to deaden me completely from the reality of my life.

For it was God who awoken in me, the need for my recovery; a process that was begun many years before that day I cried out to our Lady for help which is the day this prayer was conceived in my heart. Many months have passed, my love, and since when I posted that prayer I knew that there were still some things to be learned, that there will be new reflections gained from its exercise, I am now putting those things down for us.

The prayer itself has not changed, but I have.

They say, my love, that the Rosary has a body and soul. The body of the Rosary are its physical gestures - the posture that we take, the Signing of the Cross, the passing of the beads - and also the vocal prayers themselves. And these are like handrails that guide us forward in the prayer. They allow our hearts to venture out into the more vital aspect of the Rosary, its soul.

I would like to put emphasis on the soul of the prayer, my love, because it is here where the real work actually takes place which is to make ourselves accustomed to our own hope in relation to God's plan for each of us and also the hope of others in relation to God's plan for all of us together.

Because of the darkness, my darling, it is certain that there are false hopes out there. There is much despairing. But this prayer is proof against such things. Because through it we shall gain a confidence and a strength of understanding and heart to devote ourselves to those lineages of hope that lead to the glory of God in heaven which is on earth, peace among our nations and good will among all men and women of peace.

For those who are interested, here are some of my pointers with regards to the essential parts of the prayer -

1. Make the intention that you are going to pray this prayer. Be aware also that this is a prayer that we shall be saying with Mother Mary and Blessed Jacinta Marto.

2. The Sign of the Cross - It might be that this has become but a rote gesture. It is important to guard against making this an empty and mechanical gesture. This is a summary of all that we are to take into our hearts during the entire prayer. We must invite ourselves to open our hearts to the Holy Spirit by the Sign of the Cross. The vertical is our relationship of faith. The horizontal is our relationship of hope. This prayer concentrates on the horizontal relationship.

3. The Apostle's Creed - I have realized that I was not able to put this on my original post. This is included in the prayer, of course.

4. The first Our Father and first the three Hail Mary's - Let us meditate on the Blessed Trinity.

5. Glory Be - every Glory Be reminds us of the real terminus of all true hope which is the glory of God in heaven and on earth.

6. Our Father - every Our Father reminds us that it is in loving obedience that all good things in faith have their foundations.

7. Hail Mary - every Hail Mary reminds us of the common ascent of our hope from truth to truth and strength to strength.

7. The Five Meditations - the first meditation is the hope of the true self - God's plan for each of us, the second meditation is the hope of the family - the needs of our families, the third meditation is the hope of friends - the needs of our friends, the fourth meditation is the hope of the nation/s - the needs of our national community outward from the least to the greatest whole which is the planetary whole, the fifth meditation is the hope of our Holy Mother Church - the intentions of our Holy Father, the intentions of our Bishops, Priests, Religious and Lay Leaders, including the final hopes of the Church Suffering.

Every meditation is an ascent to the fulfillment of all human hopes in the Glory Be and should fill our faith with much trust and confidence in the LORD, our most beneficent God. In these meditations we shall try to understand with Mother Mary the depths of our needs and the needs of others that require us to be individually strong in the exercise of Christian charity for true self and others in God as true self.

It is an aspect of this prayer that we should be willing to take ownership of the hopes that we include and reflect upon in each meditation within our Rosary of Hope either exclusively, unbosoming our hearts with Mama Mary and Blessed Jacinta or in the context of the four mysteries of the regular Rosary. It is the central reason why we are working to bring them all forth into the Now of our hearts through this prayer, that we may help realize these hopes by bringing them out from our hearts into the everyday world around us. One will soon discover that there is much work to be done here, in prayer but more importantly in act.

8. Finally, as regards to this prayer, I prescribe that at the end of every meditation, we say with Blessed Jacinta Marto in our hearts -

God of my Heart:

O my Jesus, zealous for souls,
thirsting for the love of Mankind!

Come, be Thou the God of my heart
and accomplish in me Thy will of peace.

Try to see the Lord in others through this prayer. He thirsts for our love through others and by our coming to Him we invite Him into our hearts that He may by His Love give us the grace to accomplish in us what we must do for Him today.

We have always, as Catholics, relied on our Mother Mary for her intercession, now in this prayer we come with her - hopes in hand - in the actual moment as she intercedes for us so that we may eventually learn to also be like her and with her intercede for others and to do all of those works of peace set by God before our hands and our feet - willingly and with joy.

Peace, I salute you.

---<--@

Let us recall to mind the sword, Excalibur: The Paradox of Power is that power is ultimately an illusion. In the end, there really is only responsibility.

Let us pray for the victims of the worst flooding in the history of Pakistan.

And let us now get together, O my Filipino nation, to build a better place for us under the sun, something we could truly call our own, a Country uniquely our own, our home away from Home - a Republic with a soul of submission and a heart of peace, one that is better capable of attending to our own needs as one nation and of reaching out to assist those other nations in need, in our region, in our continent, and in our world, mabuhay.

IKAW AT AKO

Pilipinas, ano ito?
Ito ang lupain ng pangarap,
Bayang hinirang ng araw
sa puso nating lahat -
isang bayan, isang diwa
isang layunin, isang puso
isang kapatiran, isang gawa
isang umagang pangako sa atin
nang Diyos nating Maykapal,
at nag-iisang Kapayapaang namumuno
sa lahat ng mga Pilipino.

Pilipinas, ano ito?
Atin ito: Ating lahat,
noon pa man, dito sa Ngayon,
at sa kalahatan nang panahon -
dito sa lupa, sa ating karagatan,
at sa lawak ng mga kalangitan,
atin ito, ating lahat,
mga kapwa ko Pilipino -
kapwa kapatid nang pangako.

Pilipinas, ano ito?
Atin ito: Tayo ito - ikaw at ako,
ngayon at magpakailanman:
Bayang dakila, inang kandungan,
tahanan ng ating mga bayani -
puno nang kabutihang loob
at pananampalayaya sa Diyos.

Matamis ang magsilbi
sa malaya mong mga kalupunan.

(From 2009: Bagong Taon, Bagong Araw)
---<--@

I love you.

Always to always,

=^.^=

Sakura

Beauty is fleeting
T'is like a stranger calling:
Do you remember?

20090203

Dearest darlingest Miyang Marie,

I dislike chain letters, my love. They prey on people's anxieties, worries, uncertainties and emotions. The people who do them might mean well but why compel a person to do something you want? Why bind their choice with subtle manipulation and sometimes not so subtle psychological intimidation? If you want to persuade a person or give counsel to a soul, you will either LISTEN and/or be direct to the truth (or express it in substance as some truths have no equivalent form in prose - I express them in poetry or prayer) or point straight in that direction and not take the tortuous, one-sided path that twists and turns, manipulates and deceives. I do read them though because except for those very, very rare ones that really need circulation, I instantly put and end to those ones that are wasteful to save others from being annoyed by them.

Truth sets free and therefore, the conditions necessary for truth to be perceived must be that the will of Man is enabled by reason illuminated by faith - that the will be free. Another reason why prayer - and not just personal petition - but prayers offered for or in behalf of other needful souls - is such a Christian or a truly human thing to do, because unless God gives the heart of Man sight to see, that faith will never quicken to the Holy Spirit of the LORD. Man by him or herself is incapable of perceiving realities that make absolute, the experience of our being human. We must bear our burdens not only with Jesus but with each other - this is why salvation can not be achieved by individuals as individuals but as a common destiny - as one House, as one Family, as all of the nations of the one family of the nations of mankind. And I don't care what religion or any other kind of division the person I am praying for or helping belongs to - that person belongs to me and I to him or her - for that is what it means to say, "peace" - it means, "I am here now for you, for I see your need, my beloved friend and constant companion, and I will be to you as your hope in Jesus Christ". How then can this peace ever be won in battle?

I was at Holy Mass yesterday, dear darlingest, and as I received our Lord in Holy Communion, I thought about the last lines in our poem, "Dreamer of Dreams":

Jesus: "Where art thou,
O my dream?"

Communicant: "O my God, here I am,
I am here, my Lord."

Jesus: "I am here, my love."

Communicant: "I am Home."

I love going to Holy Mass. Whenever I go, I feel like I'm going to this great, great feast - that's what I see in my heart - all of heaven and all of earth united in a grand celebration of life. At the head table is our Lord, Jesus Christ - the majestic and gracious Lord of the House, our God and our Master - and at His right is our Mother Mary, smiling serenely, and every time we go, we honor one of our number. The good thing about it is that everybody - without exception, from the least to the greatest, gets a turn to sit with Jesus and our Lady at the head table and to be honored by All - in this way we are always reminded of God's continuing presence in human history. How our Lord shapes human lives is how our God chooses to guide events in salvation history towards the purpose of creation which is true happiness for all of His creatures. The elements of nature, God uses to discipline Man, but our shared humanity, by each our individual willingness to seek, know and love the LORD, our God chooses to use to guide us towards purposes we oftentimes would never understand until the end of time. But these purposes are good, for our LORD is an infinitely beneficent LORD.

There was this one time, I was late for Mass, and I only caught the final blessing. So after the final blessing, I sat at one of the pews and gazed at our Lord near the Tabernacle. He was in my heart tidying up - like we tidy up after a party - and He smiled at me and sat next to me in my pew and said very gently that it all right. I didn't think that was a Sunday Mass - though, I can't remember now - anyway, what I remember was our Lord tidying up after all His guests had left. This is why in my community - I shall only look for two things to determine the quality of a person's willingness to commit to the charism of this apostolate of Holy Mother Church - loyalty to Christ and to the Vicar of Christ. It's that simple.

Sometimes one has to admit though, that one is just holding on to one's faith by the seat of one's pants - sometimes, we just have to trust that we are doing the right thing by Jesus, which is why a personal connection with Christ is essential - and to Roman Catholics, this is a gift that is freely available in the Holy Eucharist. Sacramental grace is like a contract, all of us Catholics must understand, this grace is certain even without faith being sure and because it is, we are sure to be accountable to God for it. We can no longer stand by and see this grace wasted when the world is as it is, needful, broken, bereft of Christ, lacking in hope, wanting in peace.

My mom asked me to write a eulogy for my uncle who just recently passed away. She also asked me to write a poem. You know, its different when you know that people are away than when you know that they're gone, my love. It saddens me but at the same time, it reminds me of the realities of being human - realities that are only meaningful to me as reflections of heaven on earth. Some people do not understand our friendship - as you know, I am open about our friendship - as I'm your proud fan forever, my dear darlingest - you're my star - mine, you're mine - oh, it's different when I say it, it's funnier ./smile - anyways, these friendships, my dear darlingest, are the substance of things that make meaningful and complete, our perception of human reality here on earth that when taken to their highest form, charity or one Love, they become the foretaste of a happiness that we shall all enjoy at the beginning of all things new.

I love you, my Yang-yang Marie.

Always to always,

Pusing